Coworker: This is one of the weirdest places I’ve ever worked. Ally’s* rummaging in the bin for half a millipede, Jane* has to pathologically lock everything, and I’m going psycho telling people I don’t need hugs.
Mallett Street
Sydney
Australia
Coworker: This is one of the weirdest places I’ve ever worked. Ally’s* rummaging in the bin for half a millipede, Jane* has to pathologically lock everything, and I’m going psycho telling people I don’t need hugs.
Mallett Street
Sydney
Australia
Co-worker: Would you still talk to me if I peed on your car?
55 Southbank Boulevard
Melbourne, Victoria
Australia
Female cube-dweller, shouting to male cube-dweller: Have you got a long one?!
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: confused but amused
Reception guy: Are you guys going on a puppy run?
Worker: Nah, just going to XYZ Office*.
Temp: Puppy run?
Reception guy: Yeah, when we’re a bit crabby we go across the street to the pet shop and look at the puppies.
Temp: Oh.
Adelaide
South Australia
Sales rep #1: How do you spell “Pacific”?
Sales rep #2: Huh?
Sales rep #1: You know, if I'm talking about something in Pacific…
Commodore Street
Rockingham
Australia
Overheard by: David
Passenger: My daughter is burning that DVD for you. I’ll drop it by when she’s done it.
Station worker: Thanks! You really don’t have to.
Another mother, to her toddler: Sound’s like someone’s breaching copyright!
Turramurra Station
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: Andrew
Female coworker #1, sobbing in bathroom: I can’t believe he’s dead!
Female coworker #2: Neither can I!
Female coworker #3: Oh, honey, I’m so sorry.
Senior female partner, entering bathroom: Having a bad day? [Coworkers #2 and #3 nod.] You know what works for me?
Female coworker #3: Oh… Yes? What would that be?
Senior female partner: I put one hand over my heart, and the other hand over my stomach. I breathe in deeply. I then say to myself, ‘I’m here. I’m right here, right now.’ It works every time! I feel better straight away! [Long silence, then] Okay, well, [waves goodbye and leaves].
Female coworker #3: Wow. You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!
Collins Street
Melbourne
Australia
Boss on phone: I was thinking about trying one of those vibrating condoms…Yeah, i’ve heard they are really great…Yeah, reusable. At least I’d re-use them, I’m not paying $15 for one time!…Yeah, I know. I just need to find a guy. I was thinking of calling [Keith] to see what he’s doing on the weekend.
113 Wicks Road
North Ryde, New South Wales
Australia
30-something coworker to staff member’s nephew: So, you can get weapons… Can you also cast spells and do magic?
Nephew, playing a medieval computer game: Yeah. That’s called ‘Religion.’ Some people get really into religion, but I don’t. I just like killing stuff.
University of Sydney office
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: Wil Dog
Colleague, typing important serious e-mail to client: Ooops! I typed “sorry for any incontinence!”
Adelaide
Australia
Overheard by: PMSL
