Circulation clerk: I was talking to her about how peaceful it is in here, and now she’s going to go get a knife.
1035 North Treat Avenue
Tucson, Arizona
Overheard by: Volks
Circulation clerk: I was talking to her about how peaceful it is in here, and now she’s going to go get a knife.
1035 North Treat Avenue
Tucson, Arizona
Overheard by: Volks
Sales #1: There’s lint on your shoulder.
Sales #2: Oh.
Sales #1: Here, I’ll pick it off. Wait, here’s Scotch tape; that works better.
Sales #2: I feel like those monkeys that pick bugs off each other’s heads and backs.
712 South Hacienda Drive
Tempe, Arizona
Fat black girl: My mom — she’s bein’ so damn nosy. Yesterday she says, ‘V, tell me something I don’t know about you!’
Fat white girl: So, what’d you say?
Fat black girl: I said, ‘I like it in the ass! That shit is wonderful.’
Fat white girl: Hahaha, oh my god. Wait, how is that her being nosy?
Fat black girl: Well, it’s what she get. She didn’t know it; now she does. Serve her right for askin’.
Clothing store, 4500 North Oracle Road
Tucson, Arizona
Overheard by: i just wanted to shop
Boss: It was some chick college…
Minion: I have to ask, was it an Asian chick college?
Phoenix, Arizona
Overheard by: outside laughing
Cube guy #1: I’m gonna need your help today getting into the client.
Cube guy #2: Didn’t you do what I told you to do yesterday?
Cube guy #1: Oh, yeah. That worked — I got in from the back end, but I want to get in the front of the box.
Cube guy #2: Well, to get in the front end of the client you need to follow a very different procedure.
Cube guy #1: Right, that’s what I need. I’m hoping you could give me a little direction if you’ve ever done it that way.
Cube guy #2: Sure, that’s the way I usually go in.
Internet company
Scottsdale, Arizona
Overheard by: Cube Guru
Student: It kinda smells like bunnies.
Supervisor: What?
Student: Yeah, bunnies. Haven’t you ever smelled bunnies?
Supervisor: Uh, no, I don’t go around sniffing rodents usually. And besides, I’m congested, so all I’m smelling today is boogers.
1145 E. South Campus Drive
Tucson, Arizona
Overheard by: Rasputin
IT manager: As long as we try to maintain intelligence, a lot of people are going to get confused.
Tonopah, Arizona
Supervisor: Did you find that part?
Coworker: No.
Supervisor: Well, where is it?
Flagstaff, Arizona
Overheard by: Jimmy
Coworker: Who won the World Cup game?
Supervisor: Ghana beat the U.S.
Coworker: Aw, I wanted the U.S. to win!
Supervisor: Why? The U.S. wins everything. That’s why we have the Olympics.
1145 East 4th Street
Tucson, Arizona
Overheard by: Rasputin
Woman: I approach the whole situation with airplanes like I do the IRS — I just bend over and submit.
2211 47th Street
Phoenix, Arizona
