Software developer on phone: Like I care what it looks like during a recession? Yes… Pull all the leather out of the Porsche. They use cheap leather at the factory!
Houston, Texas
Software developer on phone: Like I care what it looks like during a recession? Yes… Pull all the leather out of the Porsche. They use cheap leather at the factory!
Houston, Texas
CSR: I just got a call from a guy that was looking for a customer service number for the phone company but he didn’t want an automated number, so I told him that most customer service numbers are automated. He told me, “I am a therapist; I know how the phone system works.”
6010 Exchange Parkway
San Antonio, Texas
Girl: Yeah, I’m trying to apply for chemical engineering, but when I go to fill out the online application, it says that it’s closed, but then it says that the deadline isn’t until March 1st!
Student worker: It’s April…
Clueless co-ed: But..oh…wait…January…February…March…Oh! Oh, so, like, March is before April?
1 University Station
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: m.kyti
Head of Security: I know several of you have told me I looked familiar. Well, I used to be an undercover narcotics agent…don’t worry, I won’t name names.
550 Bowie Street
Austin, Texas
Boss: Hey, you guys! We’re supposed to be a team. I think we should take a vote on the grimy chicken.
550 Bowie Street
Austin, Texas
Boss: So how are you doing? Is everything all squared away?
Peon: If by “squared away”, you mean multiple projects strewn across my desk in varying degrees of completion, then yes.
Boss: OK, good. Let me know if you need anything.
600 Congress Avenue
Austin, Texas
Employee #1: Where is my pen? Someone stole it…
Employee #2: What?
Employee #1: My pen is gone.
Employee #2: Check your ass.
Employee #1: There it is, in my hair.
Employee #2: Like I said…
909 Fannin Street
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Helecia Helton
Maintenance guy: How many nervous breakdowns are we allowed to have in a year?
Office Manager: Excuse me?
Maintenance guy: I don’t know if we are supposed to stay within a goal.
5825 Chimney Rock Road
Houston, Texas
Graphic designer: I’m looking for those “In Memoriam” listings. I know they’re buried around here somewhere.
2400 Grove Boulevard
Austin, Texas
Relic: Jerry, is California one hour or two hours behind us now?…What? Isn’t there some time of the year when they are only one?
2828 N. Haskell Ave
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: cherry simon
