Coworker: Did you lube that up? You gotta lube that up.
301 Commerce Street
Fort Worth, Texas
Office grunt #1: Isn’t there some word for that sort of recursive image? Like the pig who’s about to eat a piece of bacon, or the chicken with a bucket of KFC under her arm?
Office grunt #2: Yeah, and what about Kool-Aid Man traipsing around with a jug of Kool-Aid?
Office grunt #1: Oh, yeah!
Burnet Road
Austin, Texas
Employee #1: Is George Harrison the guy that directed Star Wars?
Employee #2: No that's George Lucas.
Employee #1: Oh, but he was in Star Wars then.
Employee #2: No, that's Harrison Ford.
Employee #1: Oh. Wasn't Frank Sinatra in The Beatles?
Addison, Texas
Chick on cell, going to see her dad at work: Not shaving my legs is my chastity belt — now I can get drunk and not be a slut.
Main Street
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by:
Boss: So when it works, does it work?
CTO: When it's working, it should work.
Boss: Good, because if it didn't work when it worked that just wouldn't work.
Houston, Texas
Girl #1: Good Morning! Did I get set up in SAP yesterday while I was out?
Girl #2: Uh! So was I.
Girl #1: Did you call the help desk yesterday?
909 Fannin Street
Houston, Texas
CSR, on phone with customer: I'm sorry, but that's not a confirmation code. That's the word “denied.”
Bryan, Texas
Overheard by: Jax
Case manager #1: We need to go to McDonald's.
Case manager #2: What are we gonna get?
Case manager #1: No, just to scare the kids.
San Antonio, Texas
Lawyer #1: I can’t wait to get rid of those cows.
Lawyer #2: I thought you liked your cows.
Lawyer #1: Well, I did, but then one of them got a little too close and now I have a large bruise on my right thigh.
Lawyer #2: You were just too proximate.
401 Congress Avenue
Austin, Texas
