Woman to friend: I can do it now without using my finger…I'm getting better!
Austin, Texas
Woman to friend: I can do it now without using my finger…I'm getting better!
Austin, Texas
Princess of purchasing: I'm going to McDonald's tomorrow and demanding a gangbang!
Drippings Springs, Texas
Overheard by: Interested to see how that works out
School director to parent considering enrolling child: Our classes are full. We have a waiting list.
Parent: [Blank look.]School director: You are Chinese?
Parent: No, Korean.
School director: But you speak Chinese.
Parent: No, Korean.
School director: Well, that’s the same thing, right?
Irving, Texas
Proud, jorts-wearing papa: Eric* is looking more like a Saskatchewan every day, with his big feet and all that hair.
Conrad Sauer Drive
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Jacob
Co-worker: Where do we sign up for that class? Ass-kissing 101?
‘Cause I think I have this negative reaction to it that’s holding me back, and I think that a class could really help me break down barriers.
1910 Pacific Avenue
Dallas, Texas
Young overly loud female coworker: Lots of women's uteruses fall out. (puts hand on extremely pregnant female coworker) Don't worry, that won't happen to you.
Bee Caves Road
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Just trying to eat my lunch
Secretary: You know, those wireless headsets have been a boon for the homeless.
Fort Worth, Texas
Overheard by: mmhmmm
Coworker: I can't go to Easter service anymore. I've discovered I'm allergic to the incest. I mean “incense.”
Dallas, Texas
Data entry guy #1: Ya know what freaks me out?
Data entry guy #2: Um… What?
Data entry guy #1: Canadians.
Dallas, Texas
