Office girl to another: After he put on the fifth condom, I started to become insulted.
Houston, Texas
Young overly loud female coworker: Lots of women's uteruses fall out. (puts hand on extremely pregnant female coworker) Don't worry, that won't happen to you.
Bee Caves Road
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Just trying to eat my lunch
Secretary: You know, those wireless headsets have been a boon for the homeless.
Fort Worth, Texas
Overheard by: mmhmmm
Coworker: I can't go to Easter service anymore. I've discovered I'm allergic to the incest. I mean “incense.”
Dallas, Texas
Data entry guy #1: Ya know what freaks me out?
Data entry guy #2: Um… What?
Data entry guy #1: Canadians.
Dallas, Texas
Coworker #1: I am going to come in on Monday and tell [Dave] to shove it.
Coworker #2: Do I even want to know why?
Coworker #1: I’m going to win the lottery this weekend. Fifty-six million dollars!
Coworker #2: If I win the lottery, I will go around running into every person in Houston who has ever cut me off! And those that come out of the parking lot right when the light turns green and then cross all three lanes in front of everyone, I’m just gonna floor it…
Coworker #1: Uh, I was just talking about not having to work for a while.
2875 Antoine
Houston, Texas
Grunt #1: If there is a tornado today, are you our emergency person?
Grunt #2: Nope, I really don’t care if you die.
Beach Street
Fort Worth, Texas
Customer: What's going on? Why are there a bunch of cop cars outside?
Bank teller: I don't know. (looks at other tellers) Are ya'll getting robbed?
Kleberg Street
Kingsville, Texas
Colleague #1: Hey, that girl — does she have those underwear on the wrong way?
Colleague #2: Yeah. Funny, huh?
Terrell, Texas
Overheard by: HR Rep
Boss: Will my BlackBerry work in Thailand?
IT: Yeah, it will work anywhere in Europe.
One Allen Center
Houston, Texas
