Technology

[Technicians installing a new system]Technician #1: Ok, well it looks like we need to go up to the ceiling.
Technician #2: I’m going to go up the ladder.
Technician #3: You’re going to go up the ladder?
Technician #1: You’re going to go up the ladder?
Technician #2: I’m going to go up the ladder.
[Technician #2 goes up the ladder and takes some stuff apart]Technician #2: Ok, so I think this one is the heating hose.
Technician #1: That one’s the heating hose?
Technician #2: Yeah, this one’s the heating hose.
Technician #3: Ok, I?m going to activate it. Whoosh.
Technician #2: Turn it off! Turn it off! Turn it off!
[Technician #3 turns it off]Technician #2: Ok, that’s the heating hose.

Enterprise Drive
Oak Brook, Illinois

Cube dweller: So I came in today, and my phone is blank, and my computer is disconnected from the network. And there's nobody over in it to help me.
Boss: Call the help desk.
Cube dweller: With what? My phone? It's broken.
Boss: So e-mail it!

San Carlos, California

Overheard by: The Punvert

Tired and defeated public relations director: So, yeah, I'm heading up that project. (sighs)
Equally tired and defeated public relations manager: Let me know if I can help with that.
Tired and defeated public relations director: You can help me by putting my car in neutral and pushing it off the top of the parking garage.

Salt Lake City, Utah

Overheard by: Manda

Techie: You know you’ve been working in a computer store for too long when you go to throw out a piece of paper in the trash and are like, “I’m gonna delete this now!”

119 West 23rd Street
New York, NY

IT professional #1: But the thing is that a lot of these people will need me forever… most of them are from 40-60 years old… Need I say more?
IT professional #2: Ugh, god! Just give them an abacus and call it a day.

Parnall Road
Jackson, Michigan

Overheard by: cubewalker

Tech guy: Our media player has its own problems… Like, it's mediocre.

Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: It's not alone

Boss: So see if you can find these people’s email addresses.
Intern: …You want me to find Desmond Tutu’s email address?
Boss: Try Google if you get stumped.

2130 H Street NW
Washington, DC

Elderly, stately female boss: Well, this fax machine will have to do for now. It can't get anything in it but it can still put out. (pauses) Oh, my. I actually said that.

Tucson, Arizona

Woman in accounting who's trying to stop using profanity: Why isn't my computer working? Why won't you print my shit? (pause) Shit! (pause) Dammit!

Fort Mill, South Carolina

Boss on phone: We really want to focus on your company in 2009. The alternative energy sector is expanding at an incredible rate, and I… (pause) Really? Rape?

Williamstown
Australia

Overheard by: Kate