Tech

[Technicians installing a new system]Technician #1: Ok, well it looks like we need to go up to the ceiling.
Technician #2: I’m going to go up the ladder.
Technician #3: You’re going to go up the ladder?
Technician #1: You’re going to go up the ladder?
Technician #2: I’m going to go up the ladder.
[Technician #2 goes up the ladder and takes some stuff apart]Technician #2: Ok, so I think this one is the heating hose.
Technician #1: That one’s the heating hose?
Technician #2: Yeah, this one’s the heating hose.
Technician #3: Ok, I?m going to activate it. Whoosh.
Technician #2: Turn it off! Turn it off! Turn it off!
[Technician #3 turns it off]Technician #2: Ok, that’s the heating hose.

Enterprise Drive
Oak Brook, Illinois

Comp tech: If I had a million dollars I’d invent popcorn that pops every kernel.

Broadway
New York City, New York

Overheard by: TerryFTW

Programmer on phone: 47c?! That's incredible!

Chattanooga, Tennessee

Overheard by: ND

Client: Who owns the Internet?
Sales guy: Nobody.
Client: Well, somebody’s making money!

Web design firm
Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: office peon

Man: Well, once you shoot yourself in the foot with a nail gun, you’ll know you should never point it at anything.

Software company
Birmingham, Alabama

Customer: Hey, the spell checker is broken. When I type in complete
gobbledygook, it doesn’t mark that as wrong. Can you fix that?
Tech: When you learn how to type real words and they are misspelled, then you are allowed to ask me questions.

9598 Cortana Place
Baton Rouge, Louisiana

Dev: But I have wanted tabbed browsing for seven fucking years!

One Microsoft Way
Redmond, Washington

Coworker #1: Why are those notebooks so expensive?
Coworker #2: (awkward silence)
Coworker #1: Oh, are they laptops?

Monterrey
Mexico

IT employee: Birthdays and anniversaries I can't remember for shit… But IP addresses? Those I know.

Austin, Texas

IT guy with thick Middle Eastern accent: No Phil*, they are Canadian, they don’t know what they are talking about anyway.

Sprint Headquarters
Overland Park, Kansas