Suit to others: I guess he had a heart attack, man. He was on the john for two and a half weeks!
East Marginal Way
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: What?!?
Suit to others: I guess he had a heart attack, man. He was on the john for two and a half weeks!
East Marginal Way
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: What?!?
Suit #1: That toilet has been clogged for two days now. Didn’t somebody call Property Management to fix it?
Suit #2: Yeah, they were called. Here comes Pete* from Property Management now. Check out the rubber gloves up to his elbows.
Suit #1: Hey, Pete, how’s it going?
Pete: Okay, I guess. Same shit, different day.
2nd Street
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
Suit: Hey, which button is the hyphen? [Peon disappointedly points to hyphen key.] Oh, I thought that was called a ‘dash.’
Mortgage company
Melville, New York
Overheard by: Baffled how he gets paid four times as much as i do
Suit #1: So, where are we going?
Suit #2: Does it matter? We’re going there.
Suit #1: I don’t care about the food, I just want to know I can get a drink.
Suit #2: It’s a lunch place, but yeah, it has a bar.
Suit #1: Good.
Suit #2: Is that all you’re going to do for the next two weeks? Drink during lunch?
Suit #1: Mmm-hmmm.
Suit #2: Oh… I guess that’s okay.
485 Lexington Avenue
New York, New York
Suit #1: You can’t deny that Bryant Gumbel is an entertainer.
Suit #2: Yes, you can.
77 Massachusetts Avenue
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Lady suit #1: There is a quote by Mark Twain that would be perfect for our presentation, just as a conclusion. What do you think?
Lady suit #2: Um, is that Shania Twain’s dad?
St. George’s Terrace
Perth
Australia
Overheard by: not a shania fan
60-ish suit in Cubs jacket on cell: I’m on the bus right now. I’m going to the Cubs game. Well, I just left Dad, and I gotta say, it doesn’t look too good. They’re feeding him through a stomach tube and they’ve got him on a drip. You know, he had that quadruple bypass a couple of years ago and he’s got diabetes now… He’s been unconscious most of the time when I visit him, and… Yeah, well, don’t wish me good luck. The Cubbies are the ones who need it!
Clarke Street bus
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: priorities schmiorities
White shirt: Who is in charge of the build here?
Blue shirt: I am in charge of getting it up.
White shirt: Okay, so you’re the erection supervisor.
5760 East Highway 80
Pearl, Mississippi
Overheard by: Brain Dancing
Suit: You know, this whole process is like making out with your cousin.
350 Madison Avenue
New York, New York
Suit on cell: So, my division is like an aborigine, and their division is like a rhinoceros.
Palo Alto, California
Overheard by: Spittake
