Maniac: Come in, I won’t bite anymore.
Worker: …Won’t bite…anymore?
Maniac: I usedta work at a veternarian. He usedta lock me up with the animals in a cage! When they’d bark, the only way to get them to stop was to bark at them. And bite them–on the ear!
708 Broadway elevator
New York, NY
Overheard by: Kevin Davidson
Office worker: You know how everyone just looks at themselves and sees pure ugliness?
1800 G Street NW
Washington, DC
Receptionist: Will you watch the phones so I can use the restroom, please?
Salesman: Only if I can smell your seat when you get up!
Chicago, Illinois
Guy in elevator: Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and say, “You have no personal power!”
200 Varick Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: Eve’s droppings
Coworker, walking into break room: Something smells fishy…
Ditzy blonde coworker with freshly nuked boxed lunch: Well, it can't be me, mine's chicken. (reads label on box) Oh, wait, mine is fish…
Castle Rock, Colorado
Overheard by: Sparky
Admin to another: I just got peed on by a radioactive cat, hold on.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Andy
Office girl #1: Obviously, I just brewed coffee, right? So of course she has to be the first to get some. Well, I walk into the kitchen and she's facing the freezer with the freezer door open, and she has the coffee pot up to her nose, and she's smelling it. I have no idea what the hell was going on.
Office girl #2: What the eff?
Office girl #1: Yeah… I'm thinking that maybe… No, no, I really have no idea.
Sacramento, California
CSR: I'm taking a transvestite hooker over a straight hooker any time.
Scarborough
Ontario
Canadia
Ghetto fabulous phone operator in auto insurance claim office: What that smell is? That's just raunchy! They need to go outside with that smell!
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Overheard by: Sick of sitting nearby this person
Employee #1: I don't know why he doesn't like it, it's just vaseline. It's not like I put it on my vagina.
Employee #2: Wow.
Employee #3: She just said that out loud.
Denver, Colorado
