Guy on phone with one finger stuffed in his ear: I didn't get it, Lisa, what's your dad dying got to do with us not having anal? (pause) What? No sex at all? (pause) Not even a blowjob? Jeez, I mean, why are you acting so weird all of a sudden?
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Saagar
Steve*, loudly to Tim* in conference room with door shut: That's how we are. We're like an old married couple… I don't talk to my wife anymore, so I have to talk to you.
Worker #1: It sounds like Steve* is getting worked up in there!
Worker #2: It sounds like Steve* and Tim* might be getting a divorce!
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: It happens to 50% of coworkers
Loud office girl: Actually, I had a dream that I was on The Bachelor last night. And it was down to the end, and he was, like, going to pick me… But in my dream, he was like going to pick me, but he didn't.
Manhattan, New York
Coworker on phone: I'm not married to anything on this team. We're just dating. I mean, there's definitely some heavy petting going on, but we are not going all the way. This client is not getting my v-card.
Seattle, Washington
Marketing gal: Is he married?
Sales guy: Yeah, he has a little boy.
Middleboro, Massachusetts
White guy: I cried when the Giants won.
Older Chinese lady: I thought you'd only cry when your girlfriend refuses you.
San Francisco, California
Male coworker #1: Do you and your wife kiss?
Male coworker #2: God, no! Of course not!
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Thorn
Coworker #1: I went to his booth last weekend and fondled it.
Coworker #2: What?
Coworker #1: No, because I have the jugs.
Coworker #3: Umm…
Syracuse University
Syracuse, New York
Cube dweller: Come early. Bring cheesecake.
Pennington, New Jersey
Coworker on phone: Are you sitting down? Okay… I need you to understand you do not feed dog food to your sister. What you did was not okay. Your punishment is no iPod, no computer, no television, you are grounded to your room. You love to write, right? Well, I want you to go to your room and write a story of two sisters who love each other, but one sister was mean and tricked her sister into eating dog food. This sister must apologize to her sister that she tricked, and to mom and dad. You will read this story aloud.
Silicon Valley
California
