Male salesperson on phone to female customer: But I can't do that. I can give you a six-inch white one or an eight-inch brown one. I don't have an eight-inch white one!
Majestic Parkway
Bedford Heights, Ohio
Male salesperson on phone to female customer: But I can't do that. I can give you a six-inch white one or an eight-inch brown one. I don't have an eight-inch white one!
Majestic Parkway
Bedford Heights, Ohio
Sales girl: Oh my God, this girl came in today and she was from, like, China or something, and on the credit card receipt she signed her name in, like, Japanese!
Manager: Ew! You're in America! Come on, learn English!
Ithaca, New York
Black guy: What would you say if I said I wanted to get a Mystic Tan?
Tanning consultant: Oh, you could. It would give you a nice glow.
Black guy: You’re not even going to discourage me?! I would never get a spray on tan. The blacker you are, the higher people assume your crime rate is.
North 222 Plaza
Reading, Pennsylvania
Co-worker #1: How was the event today?
Co-worker #2: Oh, it was good. The audience was mostly colored, but there were a few white people.
Co-worker #1: …
444 Park Avenue South
New York, NY
Employee #1: Okay, we’ll send an intern over, then.
Employee #2 on speaker: That’d be great. Do you have any Asians?
250 Park Ave South
New York, NY
Woman with thick Chinese accent on phone: Poop!? Poop!? You poop on the floor!? How old are you?
Somerville, New Jersey
Older woman #1: What are you going to do while you’re here?
Young man: Oh, I’m gonna shop like a mofo!
Older woman #1: Mofo? What is that?
Older woman #2: What does that mean?
Young man: Uh…it, uh…means I’m gonna shop a lot!
Older woman #2: Oh…Is that a Negro term?
Victoria, British Columbia
Canadia
Overheard by: J. Max
Coworker: My best friend, like, he used to be black, so I sometimes speak with a black accent.
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Overheard by: Master Mahan
File minion: You know, pygmies are so desperate…
Denver, Colorado
