Elderly boss to receptionist: Where's my coffee?
Receptionist: Are your legs broken?
Elderly boss: My third one is! Now get my coffee!
Southfield, Michigan
Elderly boss to receptionist: Where's my coffee?
Receptionist: Are your legs broken?
Elderly boss: My third one is! Now get my coffee!
Southfield, Michigan
Office worker on phone: She squeezed my ass this time but I did get a kiss…when you've got 250 pounds of Wisconsin looming at ya, your options are limited, all you can do is brace for the impact!
Sterling, Virginia
Overheard by: Scandalized Receptionist
Man: What color is your interior?
Lady: Excuse me?
Man: Uh, uh… Uh… of your car.
Lady: Ohhh.
Peachtree Street
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: it’s NOT all pink on the inside, i guess
Retiree visiting the office: I was working on the windows and running around the yard with my caulk in my hand, and I have this neighbor, Dave*, who was standing in the bushes, and I didn’t see him. But Dave scared me and there was caulk everywhere — caulk all over the windows and caulk on my hands. No, I’m serious, there were inches of it coming out! You guys aren’t even listening to me! I didn’t know what to do about all of the caulk on my hands but I called the 800 number on the side of it and the guy said that friction could get it off.
110 Nelson Road
Saskatoon, Saskatchewan
Canadia
Employee: Are you yanking my chain?
Boss: Oh, you’ll feel it when I’m yanking your chain.
111 E Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Hear No Evil
Office guy #1: Are you coming over tonight?
Office guy #2: Yeah, I'll be there.
Office guy #1: Okay, I'll pull it out and wipe it off.
Regina
Canadia
Overheard by: Vince
CCA: So, I have to get some KY jelly for my puppy. I’ve never really lubricated a dog’s rectum before, you know?
Sackville, New Brunswick
Canadia
Engineeron phone to production guy: Let me call you back. I might have someone check the Mandarin label for correctness.
. . .
Engineer on phone to production guy: Yeah, Pei* can come by tomorrow at 8:00am to check the label. Is that OK?
Production guy: No.
Engineer: Oh, is that a problem?
Production guy: Yeah, there are a lot of much better looking Chinese girls in the building.
Engineer: Uh…You are on speaker phone.
Three-second silence.
Production guy: Well uh yeah, that should be fine.
800 Beaty Street
Davidson, North Carolina
Designer: Gosh, I just hate when you’re watching a porn and they cut to the guy’s face. It’s always such an unfortunate time. I should write a letter of complaint.
IT guy: Yeah, if you only had a free hand.
Leverington Avenue
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: JB
Two nursing assistants were feeding old men at the home.
Nursing assistant #1: Wow, you’re a really awesome chewer.
Nursing assistant #2: I bet you say that to all the guys.
694 Isaac Prugh Way
Kettering, Ohio
