Philosophy

Employee: What happens when things are damaged in transit?
VP of operations: Then it probably won't work when you get it.

Austin, Texas

Coworker to another: Better. I like it. When I see wood, it's a good thing.

Austin, Texas

Overheard by: Someone finally cleaned off their desk

Boss: Let’s take care of that tomorrow.
Employee: Let’s as in “you and me”, or “you, me and [Kate]”, or “me and [Kate]”?
Boss: Let’s as in “you and Kate].” I shouldn’t be involved unless there’s a problem.

303 East Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois

VP: They’re all doable. We’re just not able to do most of them.

Norwalk, Connecticut

Overheard by: Cautiously Optimistic

New senior manager: So… When have you ever given a shit?
Employee: I don’t know. It’s been a while.

Interstate Parkway North
Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: Deno

Presenter: If you knew what I was thinking, what I just said would
make perfect sense.

1 Microsoft Way
Redmond, Washington

Manager: We’ve noticed that you haven’t responded to the anonymous survey. We’d like your feedback as soon as possible.

32nd Street
Jersey City, New Jersey

Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer

Employee on phone: Hello, this is John*. (pause) No, I'm sorry, I can't help you with that. I kind of suck. (pause) Okay, thanks, bye!

Melville, New York

Boss: Don’t do as I do. In fact, don’t even do as I say.

2807 Gulf Freeway
Houston, Texas

Colleague: So, there is a good reason to suggest that Al-Quieda are Gerry Anderson fans.

England

Overheard by: SpaceBee