Anesthetics Are No Substitute for Social Skills

Coworker on phone: Some people are just turned off by her personality. She was on the phone with Cheryl* the other day talking about how they rubbed chloroform all over her body.

Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: widget

Posted on October 18, 2014
Gossip, Maryland, On the phone

And Don’t We All Want That?

Lady on cell: … Yeah, that’s why he wants to keep the urine acidic…

3940 Quebec Avenue
Minneapolis, Minnesota

Overheard by: Cranberry Juice

Posted on October 17, 2014
Coworkers, Gossip, Health & Hygiene, Minnesota, On the phone

…So You Can Milk It for All It's Worth.

Coworker on phone: Well, we just have to have choices because he is a vegetarian. (pause) Yeah, milk is okay, it's dairy, just no turkey or ham. (pause) Sure, eggs are fine, that's dairy. (pause) Well, I mean, it's fine, it hasn't been born yet!

Charlotte, North Carolina

Posted on October 15, 2014
Coworkers, General Idiocy, Health & Hygiene, Meals and Snacks, North Carolina, On the phone

And They Get Course Credit for It?

Physician on phone: They throw darts at each other's butts?!

32nd St
New York City, New York

Posted on October 14, 2014
Body Parts, Doctors, New York, On the phone, Sexuality

He's a Priest, Counselor

Lawyer on phone: Well, he doesn't need his dick to go to work, does he?

Huntington, New York

Overheard by: Lady Lawyer

Posted on October 13, 2014
Body Parts, Lawyers, New York, On the phone, Questions, Weirdness

Poor Bob Dole.

Lawyer on phone: Well yes, he has a lot of problems… Most pressing of which is that his penis is malfunctioning.

Huntington, New York

Overheard by: Lady Lawyer

Posted on October 10, 2014
Body Parts, Health & Hygiene, Lawyers, New York, On the phone, Sexuality

It's Basically Like Pre-Natal Vitamins.

Receptionist on phone, about sister's recent miscarriage: It's because she's a pill-popper. And she still smokes weed. The methadone was okay, though, because a lot of pregnant women do that.

Springfield, Massachusetts

Posted on October 10, 2014
Family, Health & Hygiene, Massachusetts, On the phone, Receptionists, Substance Use & Abuse, Weirdness

This Time Just Be a Bit More Emphatic with the “Ttthhhhbbtt”

CSR on quality control recording of recent call: Hello, this is Brian*, how can I help you?
Caller: Kathy.
CSR: Sorry, what?
Caller: I want Kathy. Now.
CSR: Okay. Well, she's probably not available right now. Can I help you?
Caller: Fuck you. I don't want to talk to you. I only want to talk to Kathy. You talk like an asshole.
CSR: Sir, assholes talk like this: “tttthhhhhhbbbbbttttttttttt”. I've done no such thing. I'll have to ask you to call back when you're feeling more appropriate.
Quality control monitor: Good. Next call.

Financial District
Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: Alan