Receptionist on phone, about sister's recent miscarriage: It's because she's a pill-popper. And she still smokes weed. The methadone was okay, though, because a lot of pregnant women do that.
Springfield, Massachusetts
Receptionist on phone, about sister's recent miscarriage: It's because she's a pill-popper. And she still smokes weed. The methadone was okay, though, because a lot of pregnant women do that.
Springfield, Massachusetts
CSR on quality control recording of recent call: Hello, this is Brian*, how can I help you?
Caller: Kathy.
CSR: Sorry, what?
Caller: I want Kathy. Now.
CSR: Okay. Well, she's probably not available right now. Can I help you?
Caller: Fuck you. I don't want to talk to you. I only want to talk to Kathy. You talk like an asshole.
CSR: Sir, assholes talk like this: “tttthhhhhhbbbbbttttttttttt”. I've done no such thing. I'll have to ask you to call back when you're feeling more appropriate.
Quality control monitor: Good. Next call.
Financial District
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Alan
Woman on phone: Did she eat the other remote? Well, then you need to call Verizon and get a new one!
Crystal City, Virginia
Coworker on phone: Teenagers… Vampires… Trees and rain… I’m sold.
202 West 1st Street
Los Angeles, California
Female co-worker on phone: I know his grandmother died yesterday and his other grandmother has a week to live, but is that really an excuse to get out of a wedding with me this weekend? Am I being selfish here?
Clifton, New Jersey
Overheard by: Grandma's Boy
Coworker on phone: We had hot sweaty sex, but it was okay.
Lafayette, California
Boss on phone: That is not clinical! Being an asshole is not a clinical condition.
Ginko Industrial Park
Warminster, Pennsylvania
Worker on phone: Yes, ma’am, we’ll get you what you need right away… Well, thank you, Linda*. We enjoy your business. You’re one of my favorite customers. Without you our company would suffer a tremendous loss. Okay… Thank you. [Hangs up.] Bitch.
7501 NE Loop 820
Texas
Overheard by: lmao
Attorney on cell: Okay, okay, you ran into her… Not with the car? Okay, okay…
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Woman on cell: Well, when I get to my office, I’ll turn on my computer and run through what you did, to see what may be wrong with your computer. [pause] No, Mom, I can’t get onto your computer from my computer.
3301 Fairfax Drive
Arlington, Virginia
