Grunt: It’s a sad day when you can’t bite someone.
1056 Home Avenue
Akron, Ohio
Grunt: It’s a sad day when you can’t bite someone.
1056 Home Avenue
Akron, Ohio
Laywer: So you were locked in a room that had a gas leak?
Client: Yeah. Man, we was trying to get out quick as we could. I mean, if we didn’t make it out when we did, we could’ve been sophisticated!
Lawyer: Asphyxiated?
Client: Whatever.
Public Square
Cleveland, Ohio
Editor #1: Why would they ding you?
Editor #2: They have to ding. Even if there is nothing wrong, they have to ding. It’s psychological.
Editor #1: I need a beer.
8787 Orion Place
Columbus, Ohio
Phone drone #1: So this guy’s going to call the Better Business Bureau because I suck.
Phone drone #2: You suck?
Phone drone #1: I don’t just suck, I suck!
Phone drone #2: You suck what? Don’t answer that.
175 South Third Street
Columbus, Ohio
Coworker on phone: Are you getting married?…Well, I heard you was gettin’ married…’Cause if you’re getting married, I need to know about it and I don’t want you to be my life insurance beneficiary anymore! I just want someone to feed my goddamn cats if something happens to me!
100 East Broad Street
Columbus, Ohio
Coworker: I can’t believe they raised the price of their chicken salads! I mean, chicken is, like, the bologna of meats!
1400 Euclid Avenue
Cleveland, Ohio
Committee Lead: Okay, how about some pros for holding the picnic at the zoo?
Committee Member: Monkeys slinging poo!
20800 Harvard Road
Cleveland, Ohio
Secretary #1, talking about the real-life Napa Valley Halloween murder case: The police used his DNA and the kind of cigarettes he smoked to catch the murderer.
Secretary #2: Just like on CSI!
School
Hamilton, Ohio
Overheard by: TV has the best ideas
Lawyer to client: I'll have to file a motion to do that.
Client: Can't you just call and do that?
Lawyer: No, I'll have to file a motion, like on paper.
Client: Yeah, can't you just do it by phone?
Lima, Ohio
Overheard by: Holy Shit I went to College for this
Coworker #1: Man, it’s cold in this room.
Coworker #2, pointing to thermostat: If you’re cold, blow on that.
Coworker #1: What’s that going to do for me? [Pause.] If it will make me warm, I’ll blow anything.
Broad Street
Columbus, Ohio
Overheard by: Coworker #3
