Time to Stop Having Dinner at Mel Gibson’s House

Jewish manager: I got your e-mail about XYZ Spring Company* not being able to make that spring.
Office girl: Yeah, those dirty– Ugh!
Jewish manager: It’s okay, it’s okay!
Office girl: They just keep quoting stuff, and when I give them an order they decide they can’t do it because they are little pieces–! Ugh! Never mind!
Jewish manager: Are you okay?
Office girl: Yeah… I’m just trying to be Christian today.
Jewish manager: … Good for you. [Walks away.]Office girl, from a distance: I need to say more things in my head. I think I’m fired now.

8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina

Posted on June 12, 2020
Bosses and Underlings, Gripes, North Carolina

Dessert!

Office chick on phone: My mom is making me a huge meal tonight for my birthday… Bacon-wrapped filet mignon with blue cheese on top, Caesar salad, and roasted potatoes.
Neighboring cube guy: I just nutted a little on my keyboard.

4004 East Chapel Hill Parkway
Durham, North Carolina

Posted on June 4, 2020
Coworkers, Meals and Snacks, North Carolina

I Didn't Have Any Real Apples, So I Used Ball Bearings

Sales guy: I made a pie once.
Assistant: Okay, I bite. What kind of pie did you make?
Sales guy: An apple one.
Assistant: Did it come out of a box?
Sales guy: No, I made it. All by myself. But it was really heavy. It must have been about ten pounds. I think I was stoned. This was back in like 1972… I just remember it was really heavy. I think it was about four inches thick.

Charlotte, North Carolina

Posted on May 24, 2020
Diet & Weight, Meals and Snacks, North Carolina, Questions, Sales

Performance Review Time at the CIA

General manager: I told you to respect your boss. I didn’t tell you to obey her orders.

230 North College Street
Charlotte, North Carolina

Posted on March 17, 2020
Bosses, Gripes, North Carolina, Offers and requests, Words

Barry: Can I Get Up Now?

Admin assistant: Don’t worry, I’m on top of Barry*.
Sales assistant: … What was that?
Admin assistant: I’m on top of… Shut up!

8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina

Posted on December 15, 2019
Coworkers, Gossip, North Carolina

3PM Coffee Break

Sports editor: I think you need to apologize for that.
Opinion editor: Okay, but you need to meet me halfway. I’m sorry for hitting you, but you need to apologize for existing.

5211 Old Charlotte Highway
Monroe, North Carolina

Posted on December 13, 2019
Comebacks, Coworkers, Gripes, North Carolina, Questions, Relationships, Writers and Editors

My Escalatude Will Be Mighty!

Angry suit: If you can’t get this done I’m gonna escalate it! I don’t know to whom, or how, but I’m gonna escalate it!

Charlotte, North Carolina

Overheard by: Good Luck With That

Posted on November 15, 2019
Default, North Carolina, Offers and requests, Suits, Threats

Time to Consult the Oracle?

Office West Virginian: I need more samples! Does anyone know when Bill is making more samples?!
Office wise guy: Uh, Bill, maybe?
Office West Virginian: No, I already asked him and he doesn’t know.

W. Market Street
Greensboro, North Carolina

Posted on October 31, 2019
Coworkers, Cubicles, Default, Employees, General Idiocy, North Carolina, Offers and requests, Questions, Weirdness

I Mean, It's Critical That the Lady Finishes

Contractor: I mean, I don't want to just jerk her off…

Cary, North Carolina

Posted on September 10, 2019
Bosses, North Carolina, Sexuality, Wishes

And My PayPal Account Is Empty

Office guy, yelling to another office: Hey, whatcha doin' in there?
Naïve girl: Putting my computer together.
Office guy: Are you on the floor?
Naïve girl: Yeah, why?
Office guy: On your knees? (starts laughing)

High Point, North Carolina

Posted on August 19, 2019
Coworkers, North Carolina, Possible Sexual Harassment, Questions, Sexuality, Technology