A memo went out stating the upstairs bathrooms will be shut down for one week to redo the walls, sinks and plumbing. An executive tries to barge in anyway.
Union guy: You can’t go in there.
Executive: Don’t you know who I am?
450 W. 33rd Street
New York, NY
Senior Manager: They’re paying him $70,000 a year. What is he going to do? Live in a shack in the Bronx?
1345 Avenue of the Americas
New York, NY
Receptionist: Doc, there is no code for abnormal ejaculation. I looked under Abnormal & under Ejaculation. Nuthin’.
Doctor: Gimme the book.
Receptionist: What’s his problem? Minute man?
Doctor: Check under “retrograde”.
Receptionist: What does that mean? Too fast?
Doctor: Broken. He doesn’t ejaculate at all. Can’t.
838 Pelhamdale Ave
New Rochelle, NY
Overheard by: Lucky
Investment Banker (on phone): What? Are you sure? I really don’t think you are in labor and I have plans…What that means is that I really want to recruit this guy and I am going to continue having drinks with him. Call me in two hours…No, I am not going to meet you at the hospital. These things take forever…I’ll be there when it’s Go time, not until then.
9 West 57th Street
New York, NY
Trend Consultant: We wanted our department memo to be With Funding, We Can Do Anything, but we couldn’t afford that.
20 River Terrace
New York, NY
Co-worker on phone: Hi. I have an irregular shaped package. Do you have anything special I can wrap it in?
609 Greenwich Street
New York, NY
Guy #1: God, I’m so tired. I feel like I just ran the Tour de France.
Guy #2: Yeah, I’d love to see you get hit by a bunch of bikes.
737 Main St.
Buffalo, New York
Overheard by: chris b
Texan suit: I’m looking for that Can Do attitude, not Can’t Do.
British suit: Fuck off.
350 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
The food delivery guy waits outside the office to be let in. A woman comes to the door.
Woman: Who is this food for?
He hands the slip to the woman.
Woman: No! “RING” is what you’re supposed to do when you get here; that’s not the name of the person. How long have you been standing there?
470 Park Avenue
New York, NY
Overheard by: Sarah Federman
Sales guy: When I was in Princeton [NJ], I worked out every day and I still gained 7 pounds.
Engineer: I gained seven pounds and I didn’t work out at all.
Sales guy: That’s why you’re an engineer!
350 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
