Female coworker #1, walking back from bathroom: I'm so mad I ate that slice of pizza for lunch.
Female coworker #2: Did you just throw up?
Female coworker #1: No! If I did, then I wouldn't be mad.
Female coworker #3: Well, then maybe you should go back.
Manhattan, New York
Editor #1: I’ve developed a really bad habit.
Editor #2: What?
Editor #1: A can of Mountain Dew in the afternoon.
Editor #2: Be careful — Mountain Dew is the crystal meth of sodas.
770 Broadway
New York, New York
Overheard by: Fax Machine
Lawyer: Have you been involved in any bike accidents?
Potential juror: I was hit by a car while riding my bike in the Hamptons. I was seriously injured, but I didn’t die.
60 Centre Street
New York, NY
Employee: Why didn’t anyone tell your boss he’s wearing two shoes of different colors?
1 Centre Street
New York, NY
Overheard by: radiomaven
Coworker: In five seconds I’m giving up and giving my fish a bath.
1275 Broadway
Albany, New York
Overheard by: Sally
Married dude: The regular girl wasn’t there so they sent the cute one.
Happily-Married dude: Uh huh, the ugly one wasn’t there so you met with the cute one.
Married dude: I find her very attractive.
Happily-Married dude: You are married!
Married dude: But she’s paralyzed from the waist down.
Happily-Married dude: You’re married! So you are paralyzed from the waist down!
226 Fifth Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: Dag
Coworker #1: You have an AOL email address?
Coworker #2: I know…So old-school.
623 Fifth Avenue
New York, New York
Secretary: Good morning, Mr. [Stirner].
Caseworker: Good morning. Oh shit! What happened to your hair?
Secretary: Nothing, why?
Caseworker: Everytime I see you, your hair is a different color. what color will it be tomorrow?
Secretary: I haven’t decided. What color do you suggest? Green, purple, gold?
815 Broadway
Brooklyn, New York
Overheard by: BabyGirl
Comp tech: If I had a million dollars I’d invent popcorn that pops every kernel.
Broadway
New York City, New York
Overheard by: TerryFTW
Receptionist on intercom: Can I go to the bathroom?
Supervisor: Uh…sure. Why would you ask me that?
Receptionist on intercom: Because you told me I should always ask you first if I was ever unsure of what to do in a situation.
Supervisor: Do you not know how to use the restroom?
Receptionist on intercom: Well, what if you tried to intercom me and I wasn’t around? What would–
Supervisor: Just go!
165 Nassau Boulevard
Garden City, New York
