Office monkey #1: I am so mad at John. I just scheduled three meetings for him on Thursday morning. Don't ask me how I pulled that rabbit out of my ass!
Office monkey #2: Wow…where'd you get the expression “pulling a rabbit out of your ass?”
Office monkey #1: Because pulling a rabbit out of a hat is easy!
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Wondering how to pull a rabbit out…
Co-worker #1: I swear, you’d think we never eat the way we jump on the free food.
Co-worker #2: If it weren’t for work I don’t think I would eat.
Co-worker #1: Yeah, but I always forget and eat and then I have to eat again when it’s free.
Co-worker #2: Not me. I wait for it. But sometimes that’s bad, ’cause like, then one day I’ll be hungry and I’ll be all like, “Why didn’t you guys have a meeting today?!”
640 5th Avenue
New York, NY
Manager #1: Are we meeting sometime, today?
Manager #2: We already met.
Manager #1: Oh. Did I miss anything important?
Manager #2: Well, you missed the meeting.
19 N. 6th Street
Reading, Pennsylvania
Lady #1, surprised after leaving meeting: Can you believe he was right about that?
Lady #2, angry: Ugh. No. Now I have to give him a blowjob.
New York City, New York
Overheard by: …Wants to be in that department
Meeting Attendee #1: When’s a good time to schedule the meeting with [Gary]?
Meeting Attendee #2: Well, he will be back from his heart attack next week.
2964 Peachtree Road NW
Atlanta, Georgia
Boss in team meeting: I know these conversations are going nowhere, but we’re on a deadline so we need to get nowhere faster!
Michigan Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Boss, holding meeting: So, you want to handle this thing?
Female employee: No.
Boss: What’s the matter? You can’t handle Harlem at night?
Female employee: No.
Boss: Faggot.
Queer employee: I’m surprised you used that word.
Boss: What? ‘Faggot’?
Queer employee: Yes.
Boss: Obviously I don’t think she’s gay. I said ‘faggot’ in the sense of, you know, a sissy. No guts.
Drama queen employee: Besides, you faggots call each other ‘faggot’ all the time. I know you do.
Queer employee: I guess.
Boss: Glad we settled that. [To female employee] Now… I expect you to take your sissy ass to Harlem and take care of this thing.
Law firm
Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Big Larry
Boss: I’m just going to stop taking notes and just use yours after the meeting, because I have no idea what’s going on.
545 Fifth Avenue
New York, New York
Analyst: I can give you the numbers in those divisions, but you can’t go public with it.
Marketing manager: I’m not going to go public with it, just present it at a meeting.
Analyst: Who’s going to be at the meeting?
Marketing manager: It’s a stakeholder meeting. So, whoever wants to, you know. It’s open to the public.
16340 North Scottsdale Road
Scottsdale, Arizona
