Administrative assistant on phone: I was just calling because I have seventy five Nigerians in need of a campus tour, and I know you're good at that sort of thing.
University of Notre Dame, Indiana
Administrative assistant on phone: I was just calling because I have seventy five Nigerians in need of a campus tour, and I know you're good at that sort of thing.
University of Notre Dame, Indiana
Customer, softly: Uh, someone pooped on the floor in the ladies’ room.
Hostess: Ewww!
Manager: I’ll get a Mexican.
Restaurant, Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Coworker #1: I got the hiccups from eating a pretzel the last time I was at a Pacers game.
Coworker #2: You got the hiccups from eating a pretzel?
Coworker #1: Yeah, all that bread… and I was drunk.
Indianapolis, Indiana
Guy introducing guest speaker at conference: Just a reminder: if you have a vibrator or cell phone, please turn it off now.
Richmond, Indiana
Boss: Did you find that receipt?
Underling: No, it’s not in the receipt file. I checked every receipt for the last six months. It’s not there.
Boss: Why don’t you look again?
Underling: I knew you’d ask, so I looked twice already. It’s not there. Is there somewhere else that you put receipts?
Boss: No, only the receipt file. But if it’s not in there, it’s not a big deal. Later today, if you have time, why don’t you look again in the file?
Underling: Okay, but if it’s not there now, it won’t be there later.
Boss: Yeah okay, but why don’t you just look again?
1028 East Private Road 1200 North
Farmersburg, Indiana
Man describing adoption of Chinese kid: .. And eventually you get a baby’s photo and a medical history…
Hick female photographer: But let me ask you, what do you do if she’s ugly?
Man: … What did your parents do?
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Consultant: That is correct, we’ve found that problem in the past to be…well…problematic.
111 East 71st Street
Indianapolis, Indiana
Smoker #1: Hey, I didn’t know you smoked. When did you start smoking?
Smoker #2: About four years ago, right after my wife left me. It gives me something else to do with my hands.
Kokomo, Indiana
Rep 1: The salon across the way, their back door is wide open, but they’ve been closed for hours. What should we do?
Rep 2: Call the police. The non-emergency number, I’d say.
Rep 1: Okay… er, what’s the non-emergency number for 911?
Scatterfield Road
Anderson, Indiana
Overheard by: Oh, the pain…
Flamboyant male coworker to female coworker: Can I borrow your cream?
Female co-worker: (stunned silence)
Flamboyant male coworker: Er! Cream-er!
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: liz
