Clerk #1: Bob and Mark left on a service call.
Manager: Did you tell Mark to dump Bob off on the side of the road, like a puppy no one wants, instead of bringing him back?
Clerk #2: Hey! We're not that mean here. We like puppies.
Indianapolis, Indiana
Waiter #1, pointing: Tammy’s* either gettin’ a poochy belly, or she needs to trim that beaver.
Waiter #2: It’s beaver. I fucked her last month, after her sister died, and I thought I was suddenly in a ’70s porno.
Manager: You guys need to go find something to clean.
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
IT worker: I stated that. We cannot make this idiot-proof, but we can identify them.
Scottsburg, Indiana
Overheard by: Larry G. Case
Professor: Yes, the Chinese are very oriental.
Muncie, Indiana
Overheard by: She's teaching us?
New girl to sales rep: Washington DC isn't in the state of Washington?
Sales rep: No, let me show you a map.
New girl: We really only have 49 states? Washington DC isn't a state?
Sales rep: Washington DC is a district, not a state. “D” is for “district.” How did you graduate high school?
New girl: I'm taking the class in college too.
Crawfordsville, Indiana
Nine-year-old girl in child psychology office, talking a mile a minute: And, mom, the teacher was really upset that we didn't know how long a century is! Yeah, she was really upset cause none of us knew!
Mom: Do you know how long a century is?
Nine-year-old girl: No! I didn't know either! I don't know how long a century is!
Mom, incredulous: You don't know how long a century is?
Nine-year-old girl: No! How long is it?
Mom, without hesitation: Ten years.
Marion, Indiana
Overheard by: Which one of you is seeing the therapist again?
Administrative assistant on phone: I was just calling because I have seventy five Nigerians in need of a campus tour, and I know you're good at that sort of thing.
University of Notre Dame, Indiana
Customer, softly: Uh, someone pooped on the floor in the ladies’ room.
Hostess: Ewww!
Manager: I’ll get a Mexican.
Restaurant, Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Coworker #1: I got the hiccups from eating a pretzel the last time I was at a Pacers game.
Coworker #2: You got the hiccups from eating a pretzel?
Coworker #1: Yeah, all that bread… and I was drunk.
Indianapolis, Indiana
Guy introducing guest speaker at conference: Just a reminder: if you have a vibrator or cell phone, please turn it off now.
Richmond, Indiana
