School social worker, to kindergartner on lap: So what happened right before you ran out of your classroom?
Kindergartner: I’m peeing.
Social worker: What do you mean, you’re peeing?
Kindergartner: I’m peeing.
Social worker: [jumps up, displaying huge wet spot on her pants]Kindergartner: I TOLD you I was peeing.
5130 Roxbury Road
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Fair warning given
Neurologist: Okay, well, Tim…the bathroom's right around the corner. Why don't you head in there and go as much as you can? Then Carol will come in and take a picture.
Shelbyville, Indiana
Overheard by: Confused at the Neurologist
Coworker #1: Has anyone ever been to Hoover Dam?
Coworker #2: No, but I hear that the Canadian side is much better than the American side.
Pendleton, Indiana
Overheard by: Watching for invading Canadians
Two-year-old girl: Up, Daddy.
Dad: No.
Two-year-old girl: Up, Daddy… P’ease?
Dad: No. C’mon, we taught you how to walk for a goddamned reason. Let’s move it.
Target
Avon, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Cube dweller #1: Hey, I’m a people person.
Cube dweller #2: What are you talking about? You’re a make-fun-of-people person!
1000 East 116th Street
Carmel, Indiana
Office Manager: It’s like apples and oranges: they are all the same.
15530 Herriman Boulevard
Noblesville, Indiana
Clerk #1: Bob and Mark left on a service call.
Manager: Did you tell Mark to dump Bob off on the side of the road, like a puppy no one wants, instead of bringing him back?
Clerk #2: Hey! We're not that mean here. We like puppies.
Indianapolis, Indiana
Waiter #1, pointing: Tammy’s* either gettin’ a poochy belly, or she needs to trim that beaver.
Waiter #2: It’s beaver. I fucked her last month, after her sister died, and I thought I was suddenly in a ’70s porno.
Manager: You guys need to go find something to clean.
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
IT worker: I stated that. We cannot make this idiot-proof, but we can identify them.
Scottsburg, Indiana
Overheard by: Larry G. Case
Professor: Yes, the Chinese are very oriental.
Muncie, Indiana
Overheard by: She's teaching us?
