Slutty coworker #1: Yeah, I was thinking about signing up for the office blood drive.
Slutty coworker #2: Really? That's nice of you! They need a lot of blood right now.
Slutty coworker #1: Yeah, I guess. I heard they test your blood for like STDs and stuff before they use it. I haven't gotten checked in awhile,so I figure, why not?
Memphis, Tennessee
Overheard by: wow thats classy
Office worker #1, mourning: So when he went to bed, the tumor moved, causing him to die in his sleep.
Office worker #2, in sympathy: Aw, that's sad. Well, at least he died in his sleep. That's the best way to go.
Office worker #3: I want to be eaten by sharks.
Dublin, Ohio
Female designer #1: Did she have natural birth or were they cut out?
Female designer #2: They say that after you have the first, the rest just slide out.
Soho
New York City, New York
Pregnant employee at coworker's baby shower: Oh, an anti-roll pillow! Thank you!
Male employee: What's it for?
Pregnant employee: To keep the baby from rolling onto his stomach and possibly suffocating in the crib.
Chatty woman: My two babies died from sleeping on their stomachs.
(stunned silence)
Chatty woman: Just kidding! (laughs)
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: office monkey extraordinaire
Coworker #1: What are you talking about?
Coworker #2: I'm telling them how my parents almost aborted me.
Coworker #3, walking in: What are you guys talking about?
Coworker #2: It's a survival story!
Branchburg, New Jersey
Female coworker: So how's your wife?
Male coworker: Not good, actually.
Female coworker: Why, what's up?
Male coworker: Well, she's having pains…in her… Ummmm…baby area. Ummm…you know.
Brooklyn Center, Minnesota
Overheard by: adelhiede
Office cleaning lady: Does anyone know how to clean mice balls?
Arlington, Virginia
Man #1: So how was your long weekend?
Man #2: It was good. How was yours?
Man #1: Not as good as yours. She is not pregnant.
Atlanta, Georgia
Benefit lady: Would you like to buy a raffle ticket?
Pompous cube dweller: I've already bought a muffin for three times as much as I normally would. That's all the boobs get from me today.
Breast Cancer Awareness Bake Sale & Silent Auction
Maitland, Florida
Overheard by: crisa
Cubicle dweller #1: How much is a Brazilian anyway?
Cubicle dweller #2: I think it depends on the size.
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Eli
