CEO: [Frank] and [James] go way back. And when they start on a bid, [Frank] doesn’t shave. He grows a moustache, and when we get the deal the moustache comes off. So when I see it start coming back, I want it off. Either way, he’s still the ugliest bastard we have on the team.
350 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
Woman #1: I don’t want to show you guys my hairy back!
Woman #2, singing: Hairy baaack, hairy baaack!
Forbes Avenue
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Employee on phone: Church choir practice kicked my ass last night!
1400 Douglas Street
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: DB
Worker bee: Sorry, I got my lesbian juices all over it.
200 West 7th Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
Overheard by: Phone Slave
IT guy #1: It seriously sounded like someone was drowning a midget [makes high-pitched gargling noises].
IT guy #2, just walking in from hall: Whoa, that’s not a conversation I’m normally apart of.
Richmond, Virginia
Old boss: I used to do bad things, you know.
Young employee: Really?! Yeah, right.
Old boss: Yeah, like dealing coke. How do you think we got the money to start this place?
Des Moines, Iowa
Lady peon: You can fit a lot tampons in there, but pads are a completely different story.
Fayetteville, Arkansas
Overheard by: So What?
Sweet-looking old lady on phone: What’s the word on the street? Yeah, that little girl will do just fine… I told her it doesn’t hurt. Well, if you get a good client, it doesn’t hurt… Well, I’ve got twenty… Great, bye!
University
Fort Collins, Colorado
Overheard by: Terrified Co-Worker
Grunt #1: Jack* and Cindy* both wore maroon shirts and pinstripe pants to work today.
Grunt #2: Don’t you wish they’d just make out already?
Grunt #1: Totally.
Wausau, Wisconsin
Boss: Me and my wife would drive a hundred miles for a jar of good pickles!
10749 West 84th Terrace
Lenexa, Kansas
Overheard by: PeaveyMan
