Man in plastic surgeon’s waiting room: Why are you doing this?
Woman: Well, it costs less than a pool… but more than a Jacuzzi tub.
12 Greenwich Avenue
White Plains, New York
Overheard by: jenny power
Man in plastic surgeon’s waiting room: Why are you doing this?
Woman: Well, it costs less than a pool… but more than a Jacuzzi tub.
12 Greenwich Avenue
White Plains, New York
Overheard by: jenny power
Professor: A few years ago I had a student ask me for an alternative final because he had scheduled a vacation in Barcelona for the week of the final. I told him, ‘Die, yuppie scum! And no.’
Engineering building, UC Santa Cruz
California
Overheard by: Jessica P.
Office peon: She acts like Japan!
Carnegie Center
Princeton, New Jersey
Overheard by: Did I hear that right?
Coworker: Is that a copy of Ted Nugent’s new book?
Boss: It is. He and his wife wrote it. Grill It and Kill It.
Coworker: Is that him on the cover? With his wife?
Boss: Yeah. She’s hot, isn’t she?
Coworker: She really is. Way to go, Nuge.
Boss: He must have started seeing her when he was in Damn Yankees. What was their song?
Coworker: “Can you take me high enough…”
Boss: Yeah. Those really were the days.
249 West 17th Street
New York, NY
Overheard by: Will Leitch
Worker bee in bathroom stall: I don’t mind as long as he doesn’t try to lube the kids with it. After all, those burns can be nasty.
10th Street
Indianapolis, Indiana
Girl #1: He is so shallow!
Girl #2: Not at all, why would you say that?
Girl #1: ‘Cause he’s attracted to you.
3535 Monroe Drive
South Bay, California
Girl: So I have this friend with an eight-month-old baby, and she named him ‘Color.’ It’s a little weird, because the baby’s dad is African-American… But the baby looks really white, so that makes it better.
Eau Claire, Wisconsin
Mom to daughter: All that matters is that the dog is dead.
Stop & Shop
Richmond, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Scratch
Girl #1, after male coworker receives huge bouquet of flowers: You know, I wonder if he’s doing something to egg her on.
Girl #2: Nah, some girls are like that, you know? It’s called stalking.
Girl #1: You know, I knew a girl like that once. She had a glass eye.
5718 Westheimer Road
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: the things i hear around here
Programmer #1: I don’t think my brother has been out of jail for Christmas or his birthday for the last six years.
Programmer #2: Maybe you should get him a subscription to Playboy?
Programmer #1: I was thinking cigarettes.
Tech center
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: so glad I’m not related
