England

Customer, looking at a damaged mobile home: How did that happen?
Mechanic: The guy put it on cruise control and went into the back to make a sandwich.

Repair Center
England

Overheard by: Rob

Coworker: Hey, Sarah, how's your grammar?
Sarah: My grandma? She died two years ago. Why?

Newcastle
England

Bipedal co-worker: I don't have enough legs for that!

England

Support staff #1, about cute work experience girl: Ohh, if only I were 10 years younger…
Support staff #2: She'd be ten.

Bournemouth
Dorset, England

Male employee #1, at lunch, peeling a banana: So, I'm doing a detox diet, where I eat only fruit for two weeks, and a bit of meat is introduced during the third. It's rough, but I'm actually starting to feel more sprightly.
Male employee #2: I say…it really works? I should try it. I'm knackered, and I'm getting a paunch. I'd like to detox that baby from my midriff.
(thin, lovely, female coworker, clutching mug of coffee, enters lunchroom)
Male employee #2: Sophie, what do you do to keep fit? Do you eat fruit at breakfast, perhaps?
Sophie, taking sip of coffee: I believe for breakfast I had beer and chocolate biscuits.

High Holborn
London
England

Overheard by: Mr Tickle

Film crew girl #1: So, it was really awful, then?
Film crew girl #2: Oh my god, it was worse. He gave me the worst sex ever. I mean, the least you can do when you’ve made me pay for dinner and the cinema and drinks and stayed at my house all weekend is give me a right good seeing to.
Film crew girl #1: Seeing him again?
Film crew girl #2: Tomorrow night.

Brick Lane
London
England

Overheard by: Nics

Employee #1: So as the guy was doing my nails–
Employee #2: –Wait, you have a man do your nails?
Employee #1: Oh, it’s okay, he’s Asian.

John Adam Street
London, England

Overheard by: rubywoo

Cubicle girl #1: Damn! No toilet paper!
Cubicle girl #2, hesistantly: No. None in here, either.
Cubicle girl #1: Argh, I'll just have to wiggle. (pause) I hate wiggling! (pause) Only boys should have to wiggle.

Girls' Toilets
England

Overheard by: Disturbed Toilet User

Male colleague, interrupted by another: Oh! I open my mouth and you come!

Chippenham
England

Office girl: I’m on heat… Fire! Fire — I meant ‘fire’! Shut up.

London
England