Visitor: Excuse me, where’s your kitchen?
Engineer: Eh?
Visitor: Where’s your kitchen?
Engineer: My what?
Visitor: Your kitchen?
Engineer: It’s in my house…
Peterborough
United Kingdom
Visitor: Excuse me, where’s your kitchen?
Engineer: Eh?
Visitor: Where’s your kitchen?
Engineer: My what?
Visitor: Your kitchen?
Engineer: It’s in my house…
Peterborough
United Kingdom
Cube dweller #1, complaining about printer repair guy: No one can understand what he’s saying! He’s completely tone deaf!
Cube dweller #2: Well, he’s… deaf. He reads lips.
Cube dweller #1: Oh, yeah.
Washington, DC
Overheard by: this isn’t american idol
Boss: Where’s [Justin]?
Employee: He’s up my ass…want to tickle his feet?
800 Livingston Avenue
North Brunswick, New Jersey
QA agent: Can you remind the agents to put their comments in apprentices?
Team leader: In what?
QA agent: Apprentices. You know, the bracket things.
Team leader: Uhhh… Yeah, sure.
4 Mangrove Way
Montego Bay
Jamaica
Overheard by: Not an apprentice
Middle-aged cashier to customer: Sometimes, when I’m on the toilet pooping, my cats come in and bite my feet!
Plymouth, Michigan
Manager: What motivates you to do your best job possible?
Interviewee: Well, I don’t do anything half-assed… Yeah, I like to put my whole ass into everything I do.
1158 Howard Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Kirsten
Worker bee: I was asleep! I don’t want to know how they were wiggling things around in my body!
333 South Street
Shrewsbury, Massachusetts
Engineer: Ah, crap.
Secretary: Whatsamatta?
Engineer: Printer’s giving me an error message.
Secretary: And what does it say?
Engineer: Tray two is empty..
Secretary: Well, then fill it. Reams are right next to it.
Engineer: Yeah, uh, well, which tray is tray two?
Secretary: Gee, I don’t know; maybe the one labeled “two”?
Engineer: Oh, that’s what those numbers mean?
One Penn Plaza
New York, NY
HR drone: I apologize for any incontinence this may have caused.
Yonkers, New York
One guy steps up to the tall urinal, while the other man, a little person, steps up to the short urinal. The tall guy looks over and
comments: I guess they installed that urinal especially for you to use.
6821 Montevideo Sq. Ct.
Falls Church, Virginia
Overheard by: Ron Rammelkamp
