Librarian: Jeans, brain and behavior?
Student: Uh, genes with a G.
Librarian: Like this? Gene’s brain and behavior?
Student: There’s no apostrophe.
Librarian: I’m not getting any results.
Student: Well, I’m pretty sure it’s officially spelled with an ampersand.
Librarian: A what?
Addlestone Library
Charleston, South Carolina
Cube rat playing with promotional sticky ball: When I hold this ball too long my hand starts to smell.
1440 Broadway
New York, New York
Sales assistant #1: My dad came over this last weekend and wormed Annabelle for me.
Office manager: Why did your dad have to do it?
Sales assistant #2: Is this your aunt?
Office manager: Don’t you just give her a pill?
Sales assistant #1: No, you put it up her… poo.
Sales assistant #2: Ummm…
Sales assistant #3: It’s an animal, Ed*!
Sales assistant #1: My dad wormed Josie, too. He has to put the medicine up the dog’s tushy.
Sales assistant #2: Ohhh, okay, I thought this was her aunt. I’m okay now.
England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Employee: Nah, if he asks me for a ride, I ain’t giving it to him. I mean, maybe I will and then I’ll turn the radio to the Christian station and blast it and say, ‘I’m sorry! It’s my vehicle!’
Newport News, Virginia
Overheard by: The Temp
Manager: There’s no black in here.
Ink delivery man: What?
Manager: I ordered all the colors, but there’s no black.
Ink delivery man: Well, yeah… Black’s not a color.
700 East North Street
Greenville, South Carolina
Overheard by: colorblind
Employee, talking to a customer on the phone: It’s great to hear a friendly face!
Columbia, Missouri
Overheard by: Kyle Ahrens
Employee: I’m totally gonna sneak up on you when you’re not here.
575 Fifth Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: Thompson
Gym employee: In addition to today's mail, I also have a small package.
Tucson, Arizona
Overheard by: captain subtext
Susan*: What language was that?
Office lady, hanging up phone: Croatian.
Susan: Oh, wow, I didn’t know you were black. [Entire office goes silent.]Boss, from his office: Susan*, you’re fired.
Garden City, New York
Lady worker leaving meeting: You guys just aren’t as skilled as I am in the Porn Names Department.
McDonald’s Drive
Oakbrook, Illinois
Overheard by: Brett C
