Aw, Just Kidding! It’s for the Homecoming Dance! Go Rams!

Director: I’d like to announce that Albert*, our intern for the summer, is leaving to go back to school. His last day will be Friday. We are going to miss you here! [Team claps.]Intern: Um, actually, I’ve decided not to go back to school. I’m moving to Israel.
Manager: Why are you moving to Israel? It’s not exactly a safe place to be right now.
Intern: I feel that I need to go and support my people.
Manager: But you’re not Jewish. You’re Russian.
Intern: Yes, I am Russian, and I am also Jewish. That’s what this yarmulke is for [points to head.]

11th Street and Nicollet Mall
Minneapolis, Minnesota

Overheard by: i can’t believe i work here

Posted on February 18, 2008
Dumb Bosses, Interns & Temps, Minnesota, Religion

Certainly, Sir. Will There Be Anything Else?

Superior, after staring at his computer screen for 10 minutes: Well, butter my ass and call me a biscuit!

North Division Street
Peekskill, New York

Posted on February 11, 2008
Dumb Bosses, New York, Possible Sexual Harassment

It Happens in Every Hostile Takeover

CEO discussing a potential partner: I think they’re more pregnant with us than they’d care to admit.

Waterloo, Ontario
Canadia

Posted on February 7, 2008
Canadia, Dumb Bosses, Philosophy

Everybody Knows It’s “I-N-N-E-R-N-E-T”

Employee #1, looking at intranet option of business transactions menu: Hey, look! Heh. These morons spelled ‘Internet’ wrong on this menu.
Employee #2: No, they didn’t.
Employee #1: Yes, they did. See?
Employee #2: No, an intranet is different than the Internet. It’s sort of like a private version of the Internet for corporations and organizations.
Employee #1: Oh, seriously? Damn, look at you, making me feel all stupid and shit. I’ve never heard of that before in my life. I bet you’re the only one here who knows that. Look, I’ll prove it to you. [Calls boss over.] Look, they spelled ‘Internet’ wrong on this menu.
Boss: Oh, I know! Isn’t it funny? Yeah, those morons at corporate can’t spell!

Hackensack, New Jersey

Posted on January 9, 2008
Dumb Bosses, Dumb Employees, New Jersey, Words

When the Boss Is Happy, We Can All Relax

Boss, quietly singing: I’m a chubby little monkey, monkey, monkey — I’m a chubby little monkey…

Harris Street
Pyrmont
Australia

Overheard by: i am too!

Posted on December 31, 2007
Australia, Dumb Bosses, General Idiocy

The Year the Death Camps Came to Western Pennsylvania

Owner, to worker bee: I was told it was a good idea, so I thought it was a good idea.

Music store
Western Pennsylvania

Overheard by: tyronepower

Posted on December 20, 2007
Dumb Bosses, Office Politics, Pennsylvania

Which Is Why I Had You Read That Book on Smoke Signals

Coworker: Here’s the information you wanted.
Boss: I don’t want paper — it’ll get lost on my desk.
Coworker: Do you want me to e-mail them to you?
Boss: No! It’ll get lost in my inbox.
Coworker: So to get this straight, you don’t want the info on paper or e-mail?

Washington