Coworker, preparing to go to cemetery: I need a go-to funeral dress.
Dallas, Texas
Coworker, preparing to go to cemetery: I need a go-to funeral dress.
Dallas, Texas
Clerk #1: You hear about that guy who got choked to death by his pet python?
Clerk #2: Yeah, apparently the snake had choked him in the past, but never killed him before.
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: Doug's Mom
Engineer on phone, in happy voice: Kevin! Congratulations! (pause, then in sad voice) Oh… my condolences.
Fishkill, New York
Overheard by: Bored Engineer
Secretary: Nothing we do here is worth death.
Decorah, Iowa
Overheard by: It's True
Coworker to another: I was going to get you back by putting your phone in the fridge. However, I opened that fridge… and it was like death in there.
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
IT director, leaving: If anyone needs me, I'll be in the storage room trying to hang myself. I can't deal with this shit anymore.
Kansas City, Missouri
Programmer #1: But I'd have a justified reason to kill you.
Programmer #2: Huh?
Programmer #1: You punched a kitten.
Adelaide
Australia
Assistant: I think we put poison in her office before.
Washington, DC