Office lady #1: It's so hot in here, I'm sweating like a banshee.
Office lady #2: Banshees scream or screech. You mean you're sweating like a pig.
Office lady #1: Don't call me a pig!
Worcester, Massachusetts
Office lady #1: It's so hot in here, I'm sweating like a banshee.
Office lady #2: Banshees scream or screech. You mean you're sweating like a pig.
Office lady #1: Don't call me a pig!
Worcester, Massachusetts
Guest: So, do you work here?
Bar Manager: No.
(guest walks away)
Bar manager to bartender: If she had asked if I were employed here, I would have said yes.
Lake Geneva, Wisconsin
Sales girl: Can I help you find anything today?
Middle-aged woman: Yeah, um…
Teenage daughter: What headphones here work with my iPod?
Sales girl: Any of these in this section. Is there a particular kind you are looking for?
Middle-aged woman: Um, are you sure? Could you ask someone and make sure?
Sales girl: Um…
Teenage daughter: Mom, she said these ones.
Sales girl: Let me know if you have any questions…
(five minutes later)
Middle-aged woman to new sales guy: Hi, I was wondering if these headphones will work with an mp3 player?
New sales guy: Um… Uh… Hang on. Julie*, do these…
Sales girl, with her back turned: Yeah, yeah, they do.
New sales guy, laughing: That was quick.
Sales girl: No psychic powers. She already asked me. I guess she just wanted a second opinion with a penis.
Teenage daughter: Good job, mom.
Bloomington, Indiana
Overheard by: You've Got Questions; We've Got Blank Stares
Attorney, about opposing counsel: He's a bit of a hybrid. Like half gonorrhea and half jock itch.
Huntington, New York
Overheard by: Lady Lawyer
Film director: He's physically perfect for the role, but I don't think I can knock the gay out of him.
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: arfnotz
Art director, after particularly greasy lunch: Uhhh. My fingers smell worse than it tasted.
Boulder, Colorado
Overheard by: the new guy
Admin #1: What are you eating? it smells terrible.
Admin #2: It's yogurt, for Christ's sake!
Admin #1: What kind of yogurt?
Admin #2: Strawberry yogurt!
Admin #1: With curdled strawberries! It stinks!
Admin #2: Look, Joe* was just here using the microwave to heat up ass.
Admin #1: That ass smelled delicious.
Fordham University
The Bronx, New York
Male intern: I like slaw. You know what slaw is awesome with? Jerk. Nothing beats a good jerk and a slaw.
Markham
Canadia
Female sales rep #1: It's just a huge banana. I can't stand them, they're too big.
Female sales rep #2: (laughs a little)
Female sales rep #1, annoyed: I said “bananas,” stop laughing! It's just that I'm used to smaller ones, those were just too big.
Female sales rep #2: (laughs harder)
Delran, New Jersey
Overheard by: Bruce Banner
Office lady: I'm so hungry, I could eat a man!
West Perth
Australia
Overheard by: A Man
