Colorado

Airline worker: I'm clear at gate 20 and that flight attendant is a bitch.

Denver International Airport, Colorado

Overheard by: Headed toward the Flight Attendant

Erring employee: Shit, I screwed it up.
Naive employee: Don't worry. If it's screwable, I've done it.

Lakewood, Colorado

Sweet-looking old lady on phone: What’s the word on the street? Yeah, that little girl will do just fine… I told her it doesn’t hurt. Well, if you get a good client, it doesn’t hurt… Well, I’ve got twenty… Great, bye!

University
Fort Collins, Colorado

Overheard by: Terrified Co-Worker

(cute FedEx guy with hat on leaves office after dropping package off)
Female agent: Firecrotch or no firecrotch? I couldn't really tell.

Aspen, Colorado

Construction worker #1: So you know how I knew you were gay?
Construction worker #2: WHAT?
Construction worker #1: It’s cool, dude. But know how I knew?
Construction worker #2: [shakes head]Construction worker #1: When you started making out with me at happy hour last week.
Construction worker #2: Oh. Oh, yeah.

1670 Broadway
Denver, Colorado

White marketing manager to black marketing manager wearing safari print tribal dress: I loved you in Coming to America.

Denver, Colorado

Presenter: The activity we're going to do is called “me in a bag.” Has anyone ever done “me in a bag”? Who's done “me in a bag”?

Greenwood Village, Colorado

Cool manager: No genitalia sculptures on my desk this morning… Pretty good day.

Broomfield, Colorado

Overheard by: Russ G

Coworker staring at beeping microwave: I heard you the first time, Fran.

220 West 3rd Street
Denver, Colorado

Cashier: Ma’am, you do realize there’s a fire ban in effect that includes charcoal grills?
Customer: Oh, I thought that was only for the locals.

City Market
Buena Vista, Colorado

Overheard by: One of the locals