5PM Out of Here

Manager: You hear her? Usually, she says, “I’m coming”, and I say “So is Christmas.” But now I guess I could say, “So is”, uh, “the Fourth of July.”

11400 West Olympic Boulevard
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: lonecomic

Posted on July 23, 2015
Bosses, California, Comebacks, General Idiocy, Sexuality, Time Management, Words

Whatever Home Health Nurses Get Paid, It's Not Enough

Home health nurse: Good morning, Mr Smith*. May I take your blood pressure?
Alzheimer's patient: Well, I don't know! What'll you give me for it?

Buena Park, California

Overheard by: his pastor

Posted on July 23, 2015
California, General Idiocy, Health & Hygiene, Nurses, Offers and requests, Weirdness

Sadly, I Suffer from Soap-Opera-Induced Amnesia

Receptionist: Thank you for calling XYZ Inc*.
Customer: Yes, I just received a call from this number on my phone. Who are you again?
Receptionist: XYC Inc. Do you..?
Customer: Oh, yeah! I ordered from you guys! Did my order come in yet?
Receptionist: I have no idea sir. What is y…
Customer: Oh, you probably need my name, huh?
Receptionist: That would help.

San Diego, California

Overheard by: Cat

Posted on July 22, 2015
California, Customers, General Idiocy, Names, On the phone, Questions, Receptionists

…Have You Ever Seen One Of Their Action Movies?

Disembodied female voice: But there is cheese in China!

Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: Anon Y. Mous

Posted on July 20, 2015
California, Coworkers, Geography & History, Meals and Snacks

And by “a While,” I Mean “Since the Eighties”

Supervisor: He hasn't been coming to work because he is an alcoholic.
Coworker: I know what that feels like. Last week I was drinking for a while in my yard and I totally pissed my pants. I had to wash them.

San Diego, California

Posted on July 20, 2015
Body Parts, Bosses and Underlings, California, Drinking, Feelings, Health & Hygiene, Weirdness

But Then My Kids Go and Put Them in Their Mouths

Hot girl #1: So, I itch.
Hot girl #2: Uh-oh. Time for cranberry tea. Get some at lunch.
Hot girl #1: And there’s a big bump on, y’know, the opening.
Hot girl #2: Are you washing your toys after use them?
Hot girl #1: Every time?

100 Wilshire Boulevard
Santa Monica, California

Overheard by: No longer hungry!

Posted on July 19, 2015
Advice, California, Friends

I Told You That Was a Crappy Name for a Football Team

Suit on cell: The fog is coming. The fog. I can see it. The fog is coming. The fog.

Oakland, California

Posted on July 18, 2015
California, On the phone, Sensory Experiences, Suits, Weather, Weirdness

Talking to Voicemail Will Do This to You

Assistant on phone: Do you sell custom rings? Rings, yes… Rings. Rings! Rings… For fingers… Rings for fingers! You are a jewelry store, right? Rings… Rings!

Talent Management company
Beverly Hills, California

Posted on July 18, 2015
California, General Idiocy, On the phone, Physical Appearance, Questions, Receptionists

But I'd Rather Get My Raise in Cash

Assistant: I am not one to turn down free sex toys.

Culver City, California

Overheard by: LaLa Land

Posted on July 17, 2015
Admins, California, Sexuality, Weirdness

Introducing, TV's Answer to the Lifetime Channel.

Boss to staff: If you write it right, parental abuse of teenage girls can be funny.

Burbank, California

Posted on July 16, 2015
Bosses and Underlings, California, Family, Sexuality, Violence, Weirdness