California and Northwest

Manager in sales meeting: I want you to ask for my help. I'm like a tool in your tool box. I am a tool.

Sacramento, California

Support dude: You find the darnedest things in your trunk when you open it up!

1650 South East Street
San Bernardino, California

Overheard by: Greg Short

Wine tech #1: So I heard you are going to France next week.
Wine tech #2: Yup. Next thursday.
Wine tech #1: So how long will it take you to drive there?

8555 Sonoma Highway
Santa Rosa, California

Manager, explaining the loud sucking noises coming from her office: I'm sorry, it's so big it's hard not to slurp.

Santa Ana, California

Overheard by: That's What She Said

Receptionist: You know, this is not the first time you’ve offered to lick my eye.
Assistant: I don’t doubt the validity of that statement.

Hall of Justice
Sacramento, California

Overheard by: weeelll….hmm.

Asian office girl: Yeah, my wedding is going to be a Western wedding and not a traditional Chinese one.
Blonde office girl: (silent and perplexed)
Asian office girl, noticing the confusion: Like, Western culturally. Not like cowboy-and-Indians Western, you know.
Blonde office girl: Ohhhh, okay! I was totally gonna say that would be a really weird wedding!

Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: surrounded by idiots

Office mate #1: First available jet pack!
Office mate #2: Did you see the video? Looks pretty stable.
Office mate #1: Yeah, I heard they have parachutes that work like airbags.
Office mate #2: Hmmmm…

San Diego, California

Overheard by: Baroo

Coworker #1: What happened to my entire box of paperclips?
Coworker #2: You threw them all at me, remember?
Coworker #1: Oh, that's right. Thanks for replacing them, by the way.

San Francisco, California

Overheard by: MarketingMatt

Maintenance guy to another, in bathroom stall: All I need is about 6 inches…

Folsom, California

Overheard by: Gotta go now….

Assistant: I need to lose ten pounds.
Employee: Do you exercise?
Assistant: I'll do anything to lose weight, except exercise and diet.

Santa Monica, California