10AM Student Conference

Teacher: Are you sure that this is a note from your mother?
Kid: Yeah, she wrote it with her own hand.
Teacher: Okay, so you are going to tell me that you were out for two weeks because your mom had to go to Chicago to buy a bed?
Kid: That’s right. We only buy our furniture in Chicago.
Teacher: Okay, but I don’t believe it. That’s like the note you sent me saying you would be attending a funeral in two weeks. That your grandma was going to be dead in two weeks.
Kid: Yeah, so what.
Teacher: Well, you tell me, was that planned or did she come about with some unfortunate accident?
Kid: They can never pin it on me.

Desert Marigold Lane
Las Vegas, Nevada

Posted on May 23, 2025
California and Northwest, Education, The Classroom

12PM Lunch

Coworker #1: I think he had some kind of superdog
Coworker #2: What is a Superdog?
Coworker #1: I think they are dogs that do mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to retarded kids or something.
Coworker #2: Oh… okay, yeah, I know the ones.

5885 NW Cornelius Pass Road
Hillsboro, Oregon

Overheard by: Curious Listener

Posted on May 5, 2025
Animals, California and Northwest, Coworkers, General Idiocy, Health & Hygiene, Oregon

11AM Call Transfer

CSR #1: A guy on line 260 needs pricing.
Tech: His name is Pricing?
CSR #2: No, his name is “A guy.”

4123 E La Palma
Anaheim, California

Posted on May 5, 2025
Admins, Bimbettes, California and Northwest, Customer Service, People

1PM Number Crunching

Employee: Do you have the budget?
Executive: Yeah, I just don’t know where Dingle Farts put it, you know, Marcus*.
Employee: You know you’re on speakerphone, right?
Pause
Employee and executive erupt in laughter.
Pause
Executive: He’s right there, isn’t he? He’s always right there, lurking…

6423 Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, California

Posted on May 1, 2025
Bosses and Underlings, California and Northwest, Gossip, On the phone

4PM Paradigm Shift

Boss #1: What’s he doing up there? We’re not supposed to park there now.
Receptionist: Subverting the dominant paradigm?
Boss #1: Which means?
Receptionist: Breaking the rules?
Boss #1: Hah! That’s great. Hey [Boss #2]! You’re subverting the dominant paradigm!
Boss #2: You don’t know what subvert means!
Boss #1: I don’t know what the hell paradigm means!
Boss #2: Now as for dominant. . .
Boss #1: Shut up!

3211 Martin Luther King Jr. Way S
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Lowly Peon

Posted on April 22, 2025
Bosses and Underlings, California and Northwest, Dumb Bosses, General Idiocy

10AM Checking Specs

Web designer on phone: It says “new as of date.” What does “as of” mean?

1800 Ninth Avenue
Seattle, Washington

Posted on April 7, 2025
California and Northwest, On the phone, Technology

2006: Al Qaeda Reaches Alaska

Admin: Do you need help with anything?
Engineer: Nobody ever asks that here. What are you up to?

Anchorage, Alaska

Overheard by: Overworked

Posted on May 10, 2023
Admins, Alaska, California and Northwest, Engineers, General Idiocy, Gripes, Offers and requests, Questions

5PM That’s a Wrap

Coworker #1: Hey, is this your Eagles CD.
Coworker #2: Yeah, that’s mine.
Coworker #3: Bullshit, you don’t even know who the fucking eagles are, douchebag.
Coworker #2: It’s my fucking CD, I’ve had since highschool.
Coworker #3: Yeah right, somebody left that on your desk — there’s no way that’s yours.
Coworker #2: Bullshit, this is mine.
Coworker #3: Alright, if it’s yours name one fucking song by the Eagles, one song!
Coworker #2: Man, I don’t know the names of songs, I just know the music.
Coworker #3: Wow, you’re fucking ridiculous!
Coworker #2: Okay, okay, well they did “Welcome to the Jungle.”

714 4th Street
Corvallis, Oregon

Overheard by: Ryan P