Older dude: You know, you shouldn’t bite your nails.
Executive assistant: You shouldn’t be a drunk.
45 West Portal Avenue
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Jerkey
Older dude: You know, you shouldn’t bite your nails.
Executive assistant: You shouldn’t be a drunk.
45 West Portal Avenue
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Jerkey
Minion: Do you seriously want to go off on a Chinese hamster ovary tangent? I mean, who gives a crap?
1959 NE Pacific Street
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: snickerpants
Receptionist on phone: He fell into some kind of sink hole, and when they pulled him out he had leeches all over his feet!
Palo Alto, California
Coworker: I’m lucky I wasn’t raised by my mother. I’d have turned out a total slut. She’d wear high heels to her job at the sawmill.
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Innocent Bystander
Guy in stall #1: Hey, what’s up? Yeah, okay. You still wanna do that today?
Massive eruption occurs from next stall.
Guy in stall #2: Huh? Oh, that… I’m taking a shit right now…
Livermore, California
Overheard by: Stephen
Office drone to another: So I had a first the other day: I saw a midget driving.
Lake Forest, California
Newlywed coworker: I am all about leather.
33 New Montgomery Street
San Francisco, California
Boss: Where the hell were you? I need to call someone.
Assistant: I was in the bathroom.
Boss: But I needed you.
Assistant: You told me to be more efficient, so when nature called, I answered on the first ring.
151 El Camino Drive
Beverly Hills, California
Girl, shutting down printer: I'm gonna turn you off.
Creepster: Negative.
Costa Mesa, California
Co-worker on the phone: Really? And he had six donkeys?
1400 Lacey Boulevard
Hanford, California
Overheard by: suzanne
