Employee: I can’t process this according to your instructions.
Boss: Why’s that?
Employee: It’s against federal law.
Boss: I’ll have someone else do it.
Seattle, Washington
Employee: I can’t process this according to your instructions.
Boss: Why’s that?
Employee: It’s against federal law.
Boss: I’ll have someone else do it.
Seattle, Washington
Office manager: What is this book on my desk? Who left this here? Kiss of the Wolf?
Sales guy: I have no idea, do you want to speculate here?
Office manager: Didn’t this use to be in the girl’s bathroom?
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Boss: You can’t handle the truth!
Co-worker: Is that from a movie?
Boss: Yeah. You know: You can’t handle the truth!
Co-worker: Mmm, don’t know that one.
31 Hillman Avenue
Ewing, New Jersey
Overheard by: Susan Harrison
Boss: How’s your work coming along?
Employee: Umm, well 98% of the time I don’t do anything but refresh my email…but that’s going well.
1150 15th Street
Washington, DC
Manager: Marcy, have you seen the trucking report for last month?
Marcy: No.
Manager: What do you mean you haven’t seen it? It was on your desk.
Marcy: Well, I think I almost saw it…
1000 River Road
Essex Junction, Vermont
Manager: There is something on the drive that is taking up 5 gig of space.
Employee: What’s taking it up?
Manager: I don’t know.
Employee: Things that make you go hmmmmmm.
Manager: What?
777 West Putnam Avenue
Greenwich, Connecticut
Overheard by: Ballsalamode
Jet-Setting boss: I have to go to fucking Appleton, Wisconsin. Appleton, Wisconsin! What am I going to do there?
Secretary: Well, there’s always cow-tipping.
512 7th Avenue
New York, NY
Bank teller: Are you sure you sent the wire?
Branch manager: Yeah. I sent it to Sweden. Or Switzerland. Or some country that starts with an “S”.
1281 Fulton Street
Brooklyn, New York
Overheard by: Bee
Boss: What should we call it? Try thinking animal names.
Employee #1: What about “Kumquat”?
Employee #2: A kumquat isn’t an animal.
Boss: I like your thinking though.
45 Main Street
Brooklyn, New York
Overheard by: Greg Rutter
Boss: I need this like I need a second crucifixion.
512 7th Avenue
New York, NY
