Big Shot: Well, damn, the printer really is low on toner. I’m not gonna strain my eyes to read this junk. Now I have to reprint the whole document. Guess that’s my reward for trying to take work home over the weekend!
Peon: So, do you want me to recycle the faded pages?
Big Shot: What? No, just toss it.
3301 Fairfax Drive
Arlington, Virginia
Manager: I’m going to be turning in my old laptop for a new one. I want to get another IBM, one of the ultralight ones.
Techie: We’re not leasing IBMs anymore. We’re currently leasing HPs and Dells.
Manager: I don’t like the HPs and I really want an IBM. How can I get one?
Techie: Well…you would need to provide us with a medical reason and a doctor’s note.
10 Almaden Boulevard
San Jose, California
Overheard by: Stealth Nerf
Manager: Will you guys stop talking during my presentation?
Underling: I wasn’t talking, I was asleep…
Abingdon Science Park
Abingdon, Oxfordshire
UK
Peon: But if we didn’t buy it from them, will they provide service?
Boss: It doesn’t matter. This is an integral part of our everyday operation. If we have to buy a service contract, we will. If we give them money, they will service us.
550 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
Customer #1: Thanks for your generosity! I know we forced ourselves onto you.
Customer #2: Yes, it’s just that it was so cute, so little, we couldn’t resist!
Bossman: Well, it will be here whenever you want it.
9500 Owensmouth Avenue
Chatsworth, California
Employee: Is that you vibrating?
Supervisor: Yeah, I’m happy to see you.
1801 E. 9th Street
Cleveland, Ohio
Worker: I need to go home, I think I have caffeine poisoning.
Boss: Caffeine poisoning?
Worker: Yeah, I think the coffee made me sick.
Boss: Is it like being on too much speed?
810 Dominican Drive
Nashville, Tennessee
Project Manager: He said this, and we thought he meant that, and he thought we were doing this, and they thought we were doing that, and they didn’t tell us they wanted that so we did this…and it all got lost in the…in the…in the big washing machine of communication.
Developer: Or possibly the tumble drier of tautology.
1-4 Warple Way
Acton, London
Boss: Well, apparently he has a girlfriend who may be going through cancer treatments. But you can still be friends with him, it’s good to have connections.
Secretary: What? No! I don’t need any more friends. She has cancer? God, I can’t compete with that, forget it.
321 Walnut Street
Green Cove Springs, Florida
Manager: How’re you doing? You’re not overworked, are you? I’m not giving you too much to do, am I?
Worker-bee: No, I’m okay…
Manager: Good, because I’m just going to keep giving you stuff to do until you tell me to fuck off.
557 Church Street
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
