Boss: What are you going to do on your lunch break?
Assistant: I think I might go outside and spread my legs.
Boss: Pardon?
Assistant: I said I think I might go outside and stretch my legs. (walks off very quickly)
North Ryde
Australia
Overheard by: Sinead
Female employee, after answering question: Sorry I couldn't give you a more stimulating answer.
Male boss: That's okay, I'm stimulating myself enough anyway.
(awkward silence)
Adelaide
Australia
Overheard by: walkingawaygiggling
Teacher to students, in creepy deep voice: Want a lollipop? I have many flavors!
Sydney
Australia
Confused male call center worker: What are you doing?
Female coworker, shaking dress after hours of cutting off split ends: I've got hair on my thing and it's itchy.
Adelaide
Australia
Jenn: Oh my god, Anne, I can smell that from here!
(everyone in cubicles around Jenn and Anne look up at Anne)
Anne (looking horrified): I'm peeling an orange! She's smelling my orange!
Kent Street
Sydney, New South Wales
Australia
Wailing lady peon: Nooo! I have three boobs!
187 Thomas Street
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: mellamaphone
Employee, looking at coworker's photos: I don't think this is appropriate for the workplace. (pause) Wait! Go back, go back…I think I have that same cap gun!
Canberra
Australia
Sub-editor: Hi, Ed*!
Designer: Hi, Jack*! I’ll try not to cut myself when you’re talking to me this time.
Australia
Sales lady to guy holding door open for her: I was going to, but then I felt something dribble on me and asked “why am I wet?”
Sydney
Australia
Self-conscious colleague: Oh, I don't look very nice!
Supportive colleague: Yes, you do. Let me look (pause) No, you look like a dickhead.
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: confused but amused
