Coworker #1: I was berated by Susan* yesterday because I asked for my light fixture to be fixed… again… after 13 days. She got angry because she ‘has more important things to worry about.’ Apparently, her husband’s in the ICU.
Coworker #2: Dude, she’s going to have to unplug him.
Coworker #1: I understand that, but I resent the accusation that somehow my asking for my light to be fixed betrays an insensitivity to the plight of her almost-dead husband.
Austin, Texas
School district superintendent: I underget what you're saying…
Central Texas
Employee #1: You’re making a mess with the mail. Envelopes are all over the place. They’re calling me to come clean them up.
Employee #2: They’re calling you? What are they saying?
Employee #1: “Come clean me up. I’m strewn about the table.”
Employee #2: …Because evelopes have such a good vocabulary.
Employee #1: Of course they do. That’s why they don’t stay sealed. They’ve got a lot to say.
12100 I-40 East
Amarillo, Texas
Old drone: I started my own business. You know what I started on? Unemployment and my girlfriend.
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Nator
Coworker: Wow! Those are some shiny shoes! You know, it’s a good thing to have shiny shoes because people are more likely to be enthralled by your feet and less likely to notice your incompetence.
Elevator, Office building
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: checking own feet
Woman #1: What day is Thanksgiving on this year?
Woman #2: I don’t know – Thursday or Friday?
Wal-mart
Springfield, Missouri
Overheard by: Jennifer Gerboth
Blonde cashier: Wow! Thanksgiving is on a Thursday this year!
Lake Travis, Texas
Overheard by: Frostwalrus
Paralegal: I fell in love with Edward. It killed me that he left Bella. Killed me.
Austin, Texas
Partner: Call Greg* and have him look over these documents.
Associate: Greg had surgery yesterday and is in the hospital. Do you want to call someone else to review them?
Partner: No, Greg can do it. It’s not like he’s dead.
Associate: Okay, I’ll call him in the morning.
Partner: No, call him now. It’s not like he has anything better to do tonight.
Law firm, 1201 Elm Street
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: jennifer
Polish coworker: I was in the communist boy scouts as a boy…
The Woodlands, Texas
Overheard by: Jeremy
IT tech #1: What are you doing over there?
IT tech #2: We’re blowing people.
Waterview Parkway
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: Dont_want_to_know
