First Break the Employee’s Legs, Then Criticize the Way He Walks

GM: How were you days off?
Supervisor: Pretty good. Did some hiking.
GM: How was the conference?
Supervisor: What conference?
GM: I e-mailed you Wednesday about the loss prevention meeting on Thursday morning. I know it was short notice.
Supervisor: Thursday was my day off. Wednesday was my day off. I wasn’t here to check my e-mails.
GM: So you didn’t go to the mandatory meeting?
Supervisor: Um.
GM: You have to check your e-mail every day. No excuses.
Supervisor: I wasn’t here to check my e-mail.
GM: No excuses.

687 12th Street
Gresham, Oregon

Overheard by: I love 50 e-mails a day

Posted on October 1, 2018
Dumb Bosses, General Idiocy, Meetings, Oregon, Technology

Dude, You Want Your Computer to Love You Long Time

Boss to computer: Don't fuck with me! No fucky fucky!

Downtown Brooklyn, New York

Overheard by: SJ

Posted on September 27, 2018
Bosses, Insults, New York, Technology, Weirdness

From the People Who Brought You NYPD Shoe…

Coworker, examining scratched up phone: Life is rough in my pocket.

Vancouver
Canadia

Posted on September 26, 2018
Canadia, Coworkers, On the phone, Technology, Violence

The Course Was ‘Unleash Your Psychic Powers’

IT manager on phone: You’re right, ma’am. Yes, that is entirely our fault. We should have explained that you’ll need to have a computer to teach a course online.

Denver Tech Center
Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: rev_matt

Posted on August 22, 2018
Colorado, Dumb Customers, General Idiocy, On the phone, Tech People, Technology

And Type with the Other Hand

Female manager to male manager as screensaver turns on during presentation: You need to jiggle your thing.

New York, New York

Overheard by: i LOVE my job

Posted on August 17, 2018
Advice, Coworkers, New York, Possible Sexual Harassment, Technology

Why You Should Never Engage Management

Cube dweller: Wow, look what I learned today!
Senior VP: What?
Cube dweller: I made a pulldown list in Excel!
Senior VP: So you have a lot of free time?…If you have free time, you need to see me right away. I told you I have projects for you.

101 California Street
San Francisco, California

Posted on August 13, 2018
Bosses and Underlings, California, Technology, Time Management

4PM Order New PCs

IT #1: I asked him if he was in the United States.
IT #2: I tell people if you want to buy a computer, call their support line. If you can’t stand the accent, don’t buy that computer.

1100 SW 6th Avenue
Portland, Oregon

Posted on August 11, 2018
Geography & History, Gripes, Oregon, Tech People, Technology

9AM Back to Work

Engineer: I’m against Google Earth! The terrorists are using it! And the communists!

700 West Capitol Avenue
Little Rock, Arkansas

Posted on July 27, 2018
Arkansas, Dumb Employees, General Idiocy, Science and engineering, Technology

10AM Call Building Maintenance

Secretary: Y’all like sittin’ in the dark?
Co-worker #1: You just gotta get used to it. The lights are broken.
Secretary: So y’all really like to sit in the dark.
Co-worker #2: Well, I think they went out over the weekend.
Secretary: So y’all really like to sit in the dark…Just like in the Underground Railroad.

1425 K Street NW
Washington, DC

Overheard by: callmeahab

Posted on June 23, 2018
Coworkers, General Idiocy, Questions, Receptionists, Technology, Washington DC

12PM Server Upgrades

Server support: The server is still taking errors?
Network support: Okay?
Server support: Did you run the new cable we asked for?
Network Support: Yes.
Server support: Are you sure you ran it to the correct server?
Network support: Yes.
Server support: Did you test the cable?
Network support: Yes.
Server support: How did you test it?
Network support: I farted on one end and I could smell it on the other.

1600 Dublin Road
Columbus, Ohio

Posted on June 17, 2018
Comebacks, Ohio, Questions, Restroom, Tech People, Technology

Technology