Cashier: No, seriously, guys — I think this place would be so much more lively if every Friday night we had a store-wide dance-off… Just think — disco in the produce department. Swing in the bakery. Riverdance on the booze aisle.
Grocery store
Columbia, South Carolina
IT guy: Dude, your computer is so messed up! I just don't know what's going on here!
Engineer: I probably should have told you this before, but my computer rests on top of an ancient Indian burial site, so you are probably going to need a priest.
Ladson, South Carolina
Sales rep on phone: Um, I don’t know, let me check… [Mutes phone and yells to coworkers] Do we carry Big Ben’s nut sauce?!
Charleston, South Carolina
Overheard by: Laughing too hard to answer
Office lesbian: (suddenly starts sniffing the air)
Office straight girl: It's me…
Office lesbian: (nods and resumes working)
Fort Mill, South Carolina
Salesman, about file cabinet key: I know it didn't work. I was there when she tried it.
Worker: Did she push it all the way in?
Piedmont, South Carolina
Overheard by: Ape
Director of nursing: Getting it once a week is better than not getting it at all, which is what I was getting.
Maintenance guy: What?
Director of nursing: I need my office vacuumed more often!
Greenwood, South Carolina
Overheard by: Dana
Manager: We don’t have a single product with an orifice
2299 Ridge Road
Greenville, South Carolina
Engineer #1, about coworker’s new implants: Dude, I know! She is totally shaped like a cartoon!
Engineer #2: I would really like to get in there and… motorboat, motorboat, motorboat!
Highway 78
Ladson, South Carolina
Male boss: So, earlier I walked down the hall calling your name, looking for you, but my wife is the one that responded…
Coworker, jokingly: That's because our names sound so much alike.
Male boss: No, I think it's because when we have sex I like to pretend she's a man and I call out your name.
Coworker: That's the most fucked-up thing you've ever said to me.
Charleston, South Carolina
Cube dweller #1: Achooooooo! Oh my gosh, I just sneezed so hard my chair moved backwards!
Cube dweller #2: At least you didn't tinkle in your panties!
Charleston, South Carolina
