Coworker #1: Hey, want to go outside to smoke?
Coworker #2: Yeah, I need to hit the can first.
Coworker #1: I already went.
Coworker #2: That wasn't an invitation.
Waterloo
Ontario
Canadia
Coworker #1: Hey, want to go outside to smoke?
Coworker #2: Yeah, I need to hit the can first.
Coworker #1: I already went.
Coworker #2: That wasn't an invitation.
Waterloo
Ontario
Canadia
Front desk clerk to another, about smoking during second pregnancy: Well, at least with this one, I am not drinking.
Williamsburg, Virginia
Smoking worker: You know, I haven't even smoked today yet!
Non-smoking worker: Me either.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: thorn
Doctor to nurse: Obviously his continuing to smoke has made his lung cancer worse… But the smoking is doing wonders for his schizophrenia!
Corning, New York
Admin #1: You aren't allowed to throw cigarette butts out the window?
Admin #2: You aren't allowed to throw anything out the window.
Admin #1: What about a child?
(pause)
Admin #1: I can't believe I just said that.
Admin #2: It's all good. Maybe cut down on the crack intake.
McKinney, Texas
Peon #1, seeing ambulance and EMTs in warehouse: What's going on?
Peon #2: Michael's* having a heart attack.
Peon #1: Let's go smoke a cigarette, no one will notice!
Laporte, Indiana
Overheard by: and yes, he lost his job
Nurse: Do you smoke?
Older man: No.
Nurse: Have you ever smoked?
Older man: Yes.
Nurse: And how many cigarettes a day did you smoke?
Older man: Uh, three. No, five. A pack.
Nurse: And when did you quit?
Older man: Uh, yesterday.
Nurse: You're still smoking, aren't you?
Older man: Yes.
Hospital
Harlem, New York
Overheard by: Natalie
Grunt #1: So, what about the cigarette tax?
Grunt #2: I put ‘Yes.’
Grunt #1: Wait, you voted for that? Why? It’s like a 300 percent increase!
Grunt #2: Because I’m a social Darwinist! If people are gonna die, I want them to at least give money to the government first.
UC Santa Cruz
California
Overheard by: I think I’m in love
