Sales

The Aunt Needed to Be Wormed after an Unfortunate Incident with a Tequila Bottle

Sales assistant #1: My dad came over this last weekend and wormed Annabelle for me.
Office manager: Why did your dad have to do it?
Sales assistant #2: Is this your aunt?
Office manager: Don’t you just give her a pill?
Sales assistant #1: No, you put it up her… poo.
Sales assistant #2: Ummm…
Sales assistant #3: It’s an animal, Ed*!
Sales assistant #1: My dad wormed Josie, too. He has to put the medicine up the dog’s tushy.
Sales assistant #2: Ohhh, okay, I thought this was her aunt. I’m okay now.

England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina

Nothing in the KGB’s Training Had Prepared Colonel Volkov For the Mystery of American Names

IT person: Usually the email address is just the first initial, then the employee’s last name.
Salesguy: Oh, okay…What’s John Smith’s last name again?

Columbia, South Carolina

…And by That I Mean Exactly What You Think I Mean.

Saleswoman: Who brought these cinnamon… muffin… things?
Salesman: Cinnamon rolls?
Saleswoman: Yeah.

Woodlake, California

Probably Best Just to Let Him Finish

Older female sales rep: The rule is: if he jumps on you, turn your back to him immediately.

Delran, New Jersey

Overheard by: Bruce Banner

Thighs Wide Shut

Sales guy on speakerphone: Ok, ok -no jokes here. I’m lost on gay street.

Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: Natalie

11AM Product Meeting

Sales #1: So what do they get in the three piece table, lamp and mirror set?
Sales #2: You’re kidding, right?
Sales #1: No really, what do they get?
Sales #2: Idiot.

2500 South Rochester Road
Rochester Hills, Michigan

Overheard by: Jenny Schneider

1PM Soliciting Feedback

Sales girl: Sooo [Alice], I hear you are having butt trauma today.
[Alice] the assistant: Yeah, I don’t know what is wrong, but it just hurts. Down in my butt crack. It just hurts.
Sales guy: Huh? What’s going on?
[Alice]: Shut up, you’ve seen it already!

8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina

For a Pedophile

Sales guy to another: That Willy Wonka is a pretty good guy.

Dalton, Georgia

It’s the Color Your Heart Turns When You Reject God’s Will

Sales manager: So as of our next issue, the logo will no longer be purple.
Rep: How come?
Sales manager: Because purple is associated with homosexuals.
Rep: I thought rainbow colors were the gay color tip-off?
Sales manager: No, it’s purple. And I know that’s true because that’s what they paint their front doors.
Rep: I have never heard that. Why would they do that?
Sales manager: So they can identify themselves to each other.
Rep: Oh, I get it. So when they’re driving around the city they can say, “Oh look, Dwayne, a purple door! Let’s stop in and get some decorating tips!”

600 East Main Street
Louisville, KY

Then Why Are You Selling It?

Cashier: Ma’am, you do realize there’s a fire ban in effect that includes charcoal grills?
Customer: Oh, I thought that was only for the locals.

City Market
Buena Vista, Colorado

Overheard by: One of the locals

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