Cube rat exiting front door: I’m going out. Can I bring back anything for anybody?
Voice from back of room: Johnny Depp.
Cube rat, disgustedly: Oh, nice, but I meant bring back anything to eat.
Different voice from back of room: Johnny Depp on a cracker.
4th Street
Louisville, Kentucky
Manager: Oh, oh! Are you coughing?
Gagging cube rat: No… I’m… Choking…
Manager, walking on: Oh, good, I thought you were getting sick, too.
4th Street
Louisville, Kentucky
New analyst to managing director, about golf club: Hey, is your shaft stiff?
51 West 52nd Street
New York, New York
Worker bee #1: What’s the name of that movie with Samuel L. Jackson and the snakes on a plane?
Worker bee #2: Snakes on a Plane.
Worker bee #1: Yeah — what’s the name of it?
Worker bee #2: [Sighs.]
Hospital
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Andy
Male worker on phone: What? Was it my fault? I’m sorry, I said the wrong thing… So she’s still in heat?
11th Avenue
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: Needs a new desk soon
Clerk: You got time to whip this big one out?
1400 Douglas Street
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: Doug’s Mom
Coworker on phone: So, how big are your tits now?!
MoPac Expressway and Braker Lane
Austin, Texas
Male peon eating peanuts, to lady peon: Do you mind if I put my nut dust in your can?
South Carolina
Overheard by: peachy girl
Manager #1: I don’t understand why they didn’t process these taxes… Hey, do you ever find your fingers swell and contract, like, every day? A lot?
Manager #2: No.
277 Front Street
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
IT guy: So, are you using straight AutoCAD?
Employee: As opposed to the homosexual one?
41 East 11th Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: nex0s
