Computer Technician: Wow, it’s amazing what kind of difference a couple of inches can make…Have you seen [Ben]’s?
The other technicians burst out laughing.
Computer Technican: I meant his new 19″ monitor. Grow up.
1035 64th Avenue SE
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia
Office monkey #1: Bro, this job is like motherfucking cocaine!
Office monkey #2: How’s that?
Office monkey #1: It seems fun at first but then it fucks your asshole raw.
1211 6th Avenue
New York, NY
Boss commencing presentation with safety information: In case of fire, there are two exits to my rear.
411 Keeler Avenue
Bartlesville, Oklahoma
Creepy waiter: The new girl’s pants sure are tight.
Mousy waitress: Yeah.
Creepy waiter: You can tell she shaves her biscuit. [Mousy waitress blinks, quickly puts on long apron, and walks away.]
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Office girl arriving in meeting: Is there anywhere I can sit?
Manager: My face, but I can’t say that because I just got out of sensitivity training.
North Hollywood, California
Overheard by: I have a face too
Employee girl: Hey, can I have your pickle again today?
Employee guy: I was wondering when you were going to ask for it. Where do you want it?
Employee girl: Here is fine. (to receptionist) I always eat his pickle.
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: Cubicle Dweller
Child welfare worker on cell: I won’t be over at my client’s place long. I just need to go there real quick and see her child naked… Maybe I shouldn’t say this in the middle of a mall.
Woodland Hills Mall
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Bob
Boss, to friend: So then I took her out to my car and let little Spiderman fire his web shooter all over her fa…
Employee, from back in the stockroom: Aaaaaaaaaaaaarghh! Jesus Christ, I'm quitting.
Hot Topic
West Virginia
Overheard by: oh dear
Secretary #1: Everything tomorrow is going to be great but it won’t be good coming in, especially if someone spills their load all over.
Secretary #2: Yeah really, that only causes more problems.
75 Great Valley Parkway
Malvern, Pennsylvania
Coworker to another: Wiggle it and I'll tell you which one it is.
Chesapeake, Virginia
