Nah, You’ve Got Nine Months to Pick a Name

Girl #1: So we had sex last night and we didn’t use a condom and I’m ovulating.
Girl #2: Uh huh.
Girl #1: Should I be worried?

10th & Washington
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Posted on February 27, 2016
Coworkers, General Idiocy, Health & Hygiene, Pennsylvania, Places, Questions

It’s an L.A. County Law

Bicycle Girl: Take the 101 to the 405, and then you’ll hit Santa Monica. There are great bike trails there.
Bicycle Boy: Great. I was having trouble finding good bike trails around here.
Bicycle Girl: Yeah, there are no good trails in the Valley. You have to go by the beach or mountains. No one rides their bike in the Valley unless they’re Mexican and on their way to work.

North Hollywood, California

Overheard by: Jen

Posted on February 22, 2016
California, General Idiocy, Geography & History, Gripes, Places, Sports, Strangers

Unveiling the Official Phallic Status Symbol for the Twenty-First Century

CSR: Hey, your phone’s open!
Courier: [looks at his crotch]

1813 East 9th Street
Hopkinsville, Kentucky

Overheard by: will1966

Posted on February 17, 2016
Customer Service, Kentucky, Physical Appearance, Places

You’ll Be Surprised and You Won’t Even Know It!

Employee: I’m totally gonna sneak up on you when you’re not here.

575 Fifth Avenue
New York, New York

Overheard by: Thompson

Posted on December 12, 2015
Dumb Employees, General Idiocy, New York, Places

This, for Example, Appears to be a Videotape from the Reagan Years

New mother: You would not believe all the stuff that keeps coming out of your body.

375 Hudson Street
New York, New York

Overheard by: Harriet Vane

Posted on October 25, 2015
Body Parts, Family members, Health & Hygiene, New York, Places

In Practice, the Principle of Universal Brotherhood Causes Nothing but Confusion

Supervisor: So you and your brother have different fathers, then?
Worker: Yeah.
Supervisor: So you guys are related through your mom.
Worker: Naw, not really.
Supervisor: Wait, so how are you guys related, then?
Worker: I dunno. We’re just brothers.

3901 Via Oro Avenue
Long Beach, California

Overheard by: bored on first day of work

Posted on October 20, 2015
Bosses and Underlings, California, Family, General Idiocy, Places

If You Unfocus Your Eyes Just Right, You Can See One of Those ‘Magic’ Pictures

Worker: Bob’s balls are hanging out of his shorts.
Manager: Yeah, he’s got real hangers.
Worker: You should tell him.
Manager: I like it. No one else can see it, and it’s his lunch break. Besides, you’ve been looking at his scrotum for the last ten minutes.

Balboa Park
San Diego, California

Overheard by: fellow worker sitting nearby