Coworker, ranting about the office copier: Guess what I have to do in five minutes. Get a “training” session on the 250 from Bob. Yeah, I know. If the 250 were a person, I would be its gynecologist, I know it so well! I have been into its regions and back, retrieving jammed paper!
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Living for Friday
Co-worker #1: It’s not always good to be the squeaky wheel.
Co-worker #2: Yeah, you really have to pick and choose your squeaky wheels.
833 Chestnut Street East
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Civil engineer: If cigarettes are bad for you, then why are they such big business? You wouldn’t be allowed to buy them if they killed you.
Environmental health and safety specialist: Do you ever pay attention to the words that come out of your mouth?
Harrisburg, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: intern biologist
Worker #1: Did you know there was a midget in our building?
Worker #2: Hiding?
Worker #1: No, working on three, asshole.
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Supervisor: Internet access appears to be back up.
Accountant: I don’t care; hurl yourself out the nearest window immediately.
2005 Market Street
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Food court employee #1: I think I have a lizard tail growin’ out of my butt!
Food court employee #2: Oh, I see it!
Allegheny College
Meadville, Pennsylvania
Curious coworker: Were you guys talking about teabags in the bathroom?
University Park, Pennsylvania
Obnoxious coworker on conference call: Well, if a Dachshund is the amount of time you have, and you use a giraffe to represent growth… People will be laughing.
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Engineer #1: Guess who is going to be at the club I'm going to in Vegas?
Engineer #2: Snoop Dogg?
Engineer #1: No, Asia.
Engineer #2: Uh, isn't that a country?
Engineer #1: (blank stare)
FedEx Drive
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Jamil
Employee #1 calling from adjacent building: Hey, you guys are using the wrong kind of paper in the fax machine.
Employee #2: What?
Employee #1: You’re using the wrong paper in the fax machine. Our faxes are coming out all smeary over here.
Employee #2: Oh, okay. Sorry.
Kramer Drive
Gibsonia, Pennsylvania
