Co-worker or Quote Machine?

Admin: I’ve always wondered what the metric system was.

Admin: I’m going to go home before I have a massive exploding in my head or something of that nature.

Admin: I’m just going to cut out my bladder. ’cause I’m getting really tired of having to go to the bathroom.

Admin: The mail leaves our office from our office at five o’clock and from there it goes to the post office. Then it goes to the post office in california before it gets to your guyses mailbox. So I wanna say that possibly it should probably get there today, I wanna hope so.

121 SW Salmon Street
Portland, Oregon

Posted on April 9, 2015
Admins, General Idiocy, Oregon

…A Couple Of Working Stiffs Like You?

Supervisor to coworkers trying to lift a desk: Having trouble getting it up?

Corvallis, Oregon

Posted on March 25, 2015
Body Parts, Bosses and Underlings, Oregon, Questions, Sexuality

Niche Marketing's a Dirty Business, People

VP: That will impact our back-end penetration rates.

Tigard, Oregon

Posted on March 13, 2015
Bosses, Oregon, Sexuality, Weirdness, Words

They Drink a Lot Of Tab in Oregon

Tech support person solving printing problem: First I'll put his end in her slot, then I'll try putting her end in his slot, and we'll see what happens.

Office
Oregon

Posted on March 8, 2015
Body Parts, Oregon, Sexuality, Tech People, Technology

Breath Mint?

Office girl, sick for some time: I puked in my mouth again. I just swallowed it. What else you gonna do? It's so disgusting!

Portland, Oregon

Posted on March 5, 2015
Body Parts, Employees, Health & Hygiene, Oregon, Sensory Experiences, Weirdness

I Had An…uh…Lobotomy, Redux

In a meeting: Providers only terminate their contracts for one of two reasons: Pay or Other.

At a bar with a friend: You know, I was diagnosed as a genius as a child and I think that is why I don’t get along with her; I don’t get along with other geniuses. That is why I think you and I are such good friends.

In response to an email: Ya know, I have tracking on this, and as usual, I am completely embarrassed.

[Bonus: found in coworker’s personal ad: Things that turn me on: Thunderstorms]

522 SW 5th
Portland, Oregon

Overheard by: Breanna Freeman

Posted on February 22, 2015
Coworkers, General Idiocy, Gripes, Insults, Oregon, Sexuality, Weather

Since My Husband Was Turned to Stone

Manager on phone to client: Yeah, that’s like someone watching me take a shower, and after two kids, no one wants to see that.

1120 NW Couch Street
Portland, Oregon

Posted on February 20, 2015
Gripes, On the phone, Oregon

Reader Poll: The Gum, the Women, or the Teeth?

Tech supporter #1: There’s nothing you can’t do in London.
Tech supporter #2: Yeah, it’s like Tijuana without the Chiclets.

Wilsonville, Oregon

Overheard by: Neal

Posted on February 16, 2015
Gossip, Oregon, Tech People

Same Thing He Does Every Night, Pinky

Puzzled teen: And I'm like… What is Jesus doing in my cheetos?

Hillsboro, Oregon

Overheard by: Beth

Posted on February 12, 2015
Kids, Meals and Snacks, Oregon, Questions, Religion

Where Do You Think Seventh Heaven Gets Its Audience?

Coworker #1: What's a lobotomy?
Coworker #2: It's when they do a brain transplant.
Coworker #1: They do that?
Coworker #2: I hear they aren't very successful…

Portland, Oregon

Posted on January 26, 2015
Body Parts, Coworkers, Health & Hygiene, Oregon, Questions