Employee: Uhhh, I got a job offer from another company… And I want to quit…
Boss: What?! How much did they offer you?!
Employee: Ummm, two times more than I get here.
Boss: Did you tell them that you’re a slacker?
Employee: Nope, but I told ’em that you appreciate my work so much that you wanted to raise my salary two times.
Boss: Bullshit! Give me their phone number and I’ll tell them the truth about you! And also, you’re fired!
Toledo, Ohio
Overheard by: jullylully
Admin #1: So, Sally* choked on her eggs, and then she said her throat was bleeding and had to leave.
Admin #2: Damn. She chokes on food more than Mama Cass.
Reynoldsburg, Ohio
Overheard by: someone who can swallow
Office grunt on cell: Yesterday I couldn’t even spell ‘truck driver,’ and today I are one!
175 Hutchinson Avenue
Columbus, Ohio
Overheard by: Hates Walkie-Talkie Cell Phones
Female worker: Hey, stay out of my pants!
Guy folding jeans: Uh, these are Aric’s*!
Clothing store, Fairfield Commons Mall
Dayton, Ohio
Guy on phone: She’s not God, but she’s a good candidate.
7th Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
Office hottie #1: Just think of all the stuff we put in our mouths that we don’t think about…
Office hottie #2: Ummm…
8891 Gander Creek
Dayton, Ohio
Mid-level manager: I didn’t know ham could smell fear.
Highland Hills, Ohio
Little boy to mom: You know what I like to suck?
Clothing store, Polaris Mall
Columbus, Ohio
Overheard by: Ohgodmustn’tsayanything
