Woman, about bald Britney: She looks like a little child from Auschwitz!
Man: If only.
1040 Avenue of the Americas
New York, New York
Overheard by: Limey
Woman, about bald Britney: She looks like a little child from Auschwitz!
Man: If only.
1040 Avenue of the Americas
New York, New York
Overheard by: Limey
Assistant: Can I go home sick?
Boss: Why?
Assistant: I ate too much gum.
New York City, New York
Overheard by: OMG
Exec, yelling over speakerphone: Michelle, what's my PayPal password?
Michelle: Michelle2.
Exec, still yelling: Michelle2?
Michelle: Yep.
Manhattan, New York
Court officer speaking to almost-admitted attorneys awaiting ceremony: And when you stand, don’t lock your knees or stand up straight, just relax and kind of hunch over, we don’t want anyone to collapse — it has happened before, and it is like attorney dominoes…
45 Monroe Place
Brooklyn, New York
Overheard by: Lans
Barista: What can I get you, sir?
Customer: I'll have a grande toffee…
Barista: I'm sorry, sir, we do not have any toffee items in the shop any more.
Customer: Then I'll just have a large broken dream.
Starbucks
Manhattan, New York
Worker #1: This has high-fructose corn syrup.
Worker #2: So you’re drinking colored sugar water.
Worker #1: This doesn’t even contain water.
Worker #2: What’s the first ingredient?
Worker #1: Oh.
1 Liberty Plaza
New York, NY
Sales rep: Gotta get some PCP, it really helps me get through the day.
Software Company
Buffalo, New York
Lady on phone: He’s going to the baby shower? Holy shit. I know he’s gay, but he has a penis.
825 7th Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: Tami D’Intern
Teller #1: How am I over my cash limit? I just transferred you $30,000!
Teller #2: Did you put the transfer through right?
Teller #1: Yeah! I had $60,000. How am I still over my limit of $20,000?
Teller #2: You had $60,000.
Teller #1: Yes.
Teller #2: And you transferred me $30,000.
Teller #1: Uh huh.
Teller #2: What does that leave you with?
Teller #1: Oooooh…
Buffalo, New York
Overheard by: They handle your money, people!
