Stop Answering Me With Your Mouth Full!

DBA to male co-worker: I want service! I’m coming to you to be serviced!

Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: I thought that belonged in the men’s room…

Posted on May 30, 2008
Coworkers, Maryland, Possible Sexual Harassment, Tech, Tech People, Weirdness, Wishes, Words

They Seem to Think They Come from Different ‘Countries’

Office vet #1: Lisa* was showing me how to use chopsticks at lunch today, you know, cause she’s Asian.
Office vet #2: Lisa*?
Office vet #1: You know, the girl we work with in third party…I don’t know what kind of Asian she is, apparently there’s different kinds, you know…

St. Paul Plaza
Baltimore, Maryland

Posted on May 30, 2008
Coworkers, Cubicles, Default, Employees, General Idiocy, Geography & History, Maryland, Race

…But It Sounds Dirty

Statistics professor: … Because honestly, I don’t even know what a box plot is.

University of Maryland
College Park, Maryland

Overheard by: student

Posted on May 15, 2008
Default, Education, Maryland, Teachers, Words

Prepare for Your Troll Years, Sally

Coworker on the phone with her daughter: The days of getting free stuff just because you’re cute are over.

County School Office
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: Someone who’s convinced those days are never over

Posted on May 13, 2008
Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Default, Education, Family, Maryland, On the phone, Parents

Then I’m Not Sure My NAFTA Piece Will Make Any Sense

Editor-in-chief: So I can’t say “pubic” on one of our editorials?
Opinion editor: No.
Editor-in-chief: And you won’t let me say “Anal osculation?”
Opinion editor: No!

E Pratt St
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: Working at

Posted on April 17, 2008
Body Parts, Coworkers, Design and Editorial, Maryland, Offers and requests, Questions, Words, Writers and Editors

But You’re Here

Black salesman: How do you know about that part of town?
White manager: Coz that’s where the bitches is at!

Kelso Drive
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: Anonymous Temp

Posted on April 14, 2008
Bosses, Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Default, Maryland, Questions, Sales, Sexuality, Weirdness

At the Law Offices of Floppy, Moppy, Cottontail & Peter

Boss: Who is this? You have to identify yourself — my hard drive is full!

Baltimore, Maryland

Posted on April 3, 2008
Bosses, Default, Maryland, Offers and requests, Questions, Technology, Words

It Wasn’t Big Enough for the Two of Them

Agent: … And I have to go back out there because her husband’s not in town this weekend.
Receptionist: Really? Where is he?
Agent: He’s out of town!
Receptionist: … Yeah. Thanks.

2661 Riva Road
Annapolis, Maryland

Overheard by: Car Ramrod

Posted on March 4, 2008
Coworkers, Default, General Idiocy, Geography & History, Maryland, Receptionists

Well, for One Thing, Tom Brokaw Would Be Pissed!

CEO: I have come up with the solution for the conflict between Israel and Palestine.
Employee: Yeah? What is it?
CEO: The US takes a part of Montana near the Canadian border where no American wants to live and donates it to the Jews. They can all move there and set up their own new Israel there, and all the fighting can stop.
Employee, chuckling, then pausing: … Wait, are you serious? I don’t think that would work.
CEO: Why not?

Frederick, Maryland

Overheard by: poj

Posted on March 3, 2008
Default, Executives, General Idiocy, Geography & History, Maryland, Politics

Why Won’t He Just F-ing Tell Her?

Worker bee #1: What’s the name of that movie with Samuel L. Jackson and the snakes on a plane?
Worker bee #2: Snakes on a Plane.
Worker bee #1: Yeah — what’s the name of it?
Worker bee #2: [Sighs.]

Hospital
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: Andy

Posted on February 15, 2008
Coworkers, General Idiocy, Maryland, Questions